Monday, December 13, 2010

Cell Phones Great Toys or Cancer Sticks?

     ** Hidden roaming charges—cheese and crackers!- Sprint has f*cking people down to a science-like they practice in a lab with mice first!  **----Sh*t my dad says website

  **No one gives a sh*t about all the things your cell phone does  you didn’t event it   you just bought it, anybody can do that!  **--"Sh*t my dad says" website
  **Verizon--- has the  fewest dropped calls----- cause none of your calls go through. The company can't drop your calls if non are ever made. Thanks for playing!** --April Adams
 **The phones makin' funny noises again!"**---Coco Rockstar
    Don't get me wrong, cell phones are great.  I now use mine way more than any one should.  Not really to make calls.  Who does that?   In fact they have gotten me out of plenty of sticky situations.  Note: Talking on one to ignore those around you works, until your phone starts ringing!  But plenty of times  they are more than annoying.  I agree with my brother in wandering how people wake up with there Bluetooth in there ear.  I for one, don't want to be even close to that connected to anyone.  Plus it's always nice to see an actual cell phone, so that you don't think the person is standing around talking to themselves.   I really enjoy a quick text or two compared to a long drawn out phone call.   I also enjoy the vibrate mode of my phone.   Not as much the phone answering part, just the vibration.   It makes me want to put it on vibrate and give my number out to everyone.   Keep calling till someone answers!  But it leads to getting that feeling when your phone is not really ringing.   For a long month, I carried two cell phones around with me--don't ask.   Because I was usually at work, not specifically working, the phones were on vibrate.   The following month I was feed up with phones of any kind, and carried none.  But constantly felt the vibrations feelings.   This was extra strange having no phones on me.   And caused me to try and answer my pocket lent many a time.  
    I think the time that phones annoyed me most was this summer.  I went to the local rodeo street dances for the first time in many years.   And it was a great time.  More people attended than live in this town.   But the later it got,and the more you looked around, the more you noticed that everyone was drunk and on their cell phones trying to desperately find friends.   To quote, everyone    "Really????
    The plot behind Steven King's Cell  is looking better and better to me every day.   *Yes I occasionally read books without pictures*   Cliff notes to save your eyes: (No spoiler alert) Somehow by using cell phones and the ever multiplying towers THEY transmit worldwide.   Causing everyone on a cell phone to go crazy and or kill themselves.   The same waves cause the afflicted to try and capture and kill the small part of the population not affected.   It is a very small part of the population mostly consisting of the elderly and the very young.   Of course a good time is had by all!   And pages later something happens     The end.

  Now with cell phones you can talk to anyone, anywhere.  And I mean anywhere, except for those few dead zones exactly a hundred miles short of were you ran out of gas on the ledge of a mere fifty foot drop surrounded by angry homeless nuns.  Awhile back a local resident was pulled over while driving and on two cell phones.  He simply told the officer they both raing, what was I supposed to do?  At least he wasn’t also texting with his toes.  And why would he need worry about the road?  All the other cell phone driver are busy zooming through the ditches and sidewalks anyway. 
    Most of the phone company's now give you “hands free devices for your phone, but whats the fun in that?  I guess this frees an extra hand for shaving and or eating and talking while you are driving.  I at least slow down to 70 mph and turn down my stereo while driving and talking.  Plus with the hands free devices all those micro waves from your phone don’t bounce off your head.  They just hit other parts of you.  Listening to the officials talk, you could hold a phone to one ear and a raw potato to the other and have baked potato for dinner after your call.  “Please hold, my baked potatoes done.” 
    So are they safe?  Who cares I have a phone call to make!  By the time they decide they are completely safe, except for those few odd balls that died with three glowing ears, the paper your reading this on will be found to house 96 formally unknown toxins.  Bad toxins, not the good moisturizing kind.  Or the potato your phone was cooking will be as harmful for you as eggs are this week. 
     But now it is possible to explain an entire movie plot line to the person beside you and the equally dim witted someone on the other end of your phone!   Or disrupt an entire dinning room or church service!  They are helpful while passing beggars or people you don’t want to talk to.  I can’t see you , im on the phone.   Not as effective, if your phone starts to ring, while you are holding it up to your ear busily making a huge business deal.
    Whats fun is cell phone answering machines.  A true user never leaves his phone anywhere, unless he on the other line.  As soon as you get a pone everyone and their dog calls your cell.  I used to wait days for a call on my land based phone.  But in turn  I waited till I knew my buddy was on his cell phone.  Because it was great fun to hear him toak and try to drive. 
    So how do these wonderful devices work?  You pick up and dial!  But behind the scenes all those little dieoters and bieotes move rabidly, combine, and transmit of the flatness of your head.  One of the satellites, that does not spy on you while your showering,or tracks your movements on Google,  emits it to someone Else's phone and your voice bounces off their eardrum.  Too scientific for you?   You pick up and dial!

No comments:

Post a Comment