Saturday, January 15, 2011

Lazy Saturday--Except for the lizard in my bed.

                                     **"Saturdays are spelled L-A-Z-Y!"**---Garfield

                                      **"After Tuesday, even the calender says WTF!"**

    Today seems to be Saturday.  It's funny how no matter how bad the week is, the daze of the week are always in the same order.  It's a very lazy Saturday, which is the best kind.  I have been drinking coffee, posting ads on Craigslist, drinkin' coffee, checking my e-mail, coffee drinking, peeing a lot--from all that beverage drinking, and avoiding watching any cartoons at all costs.  All of this free time has made me also start thinking about alllll of the things I did not accomplish this week.   At the same time it has made me think about a favorite story of mine.  Although it was a traumatizing night of sorts.   I tend to retell my own stories to much when I am drunk.  This means I either need to constantly find new friends to tell the stories to, have more adventures, or just consume enough beer that I don't care if the people want to hear my story again or not.  This story my girl friend actually asks me to tell once I am nice an tipsy.  I fear, like most of my rambling, it will loose a lot in the written form.   I tell stories much better verbally.  Hopefully this is not true and you enjoy.  If not, I'm sorry --but I have today's blog done!
    One night several years back I feel into a rare, deep deep sleep.  The kind of sleep were your eyes thank you in the morning, and you wake up in a pool of drool, wishing you had a snorkel.   With out my knowledge or consent, my right arm was also in a deep sleep.  It went numb from about the elbow down to my fingers.   Somewhere along the line, as I was flipping over in bed.  Laying their drooling.   My left hand brushed across my numb arm.  My brain did not recognize the feeling at all.  And I was instantly freaked out and startled awake.   Half awake at best.  With sleep sand still filling my eyes, I kept feeling the dead arm with my good arm.  I didn't know I was feeling my numb arm.   And my sleepy self was telling me something was in my bed.   Something that should not be in my bed!  And within seconds I was sure a lizard had somehow picked me as a bed mate.   I instantly decided that I did not want to be bed mates with a lizard.  And that if one could find me, maybe it's whole family was nearby.
    This prompted me to try and lean up in bed even more.   Unfortunately I tried this with my lame arm.  This resulted in my head hitting the sheets.  Drool and all.   This put me closer to the attack lizard!   And caused my face to drip.  Deciding the lizard could have the bed all to it's fine self, at least until I could find something to squish it with.   I than decided it best to bail up and out of the bed.   Way out if at all possible.  
    Again unfortunately my legs were tangled in the bed sheets.   And I very ungracefully landed head first on the floor.  Inches from my bed.  I would score it an 2.5 out of 10.  My feet trapped in the sheets, still on the bed.   It took awhile to get off the floor, because my arm was still very numb and my feet very tangled.  
     After getting up, sleep was out of the question.   And I was up for the day.  

1 comment:

  1. Yeah so not as funny as hearing it. plus my eyes hurt from the bright colors.