**"I was addicted to the hokey pokey-but I turned myself around!"**
**"Can fat people go skinny dipping??"**
**"Whenever someone says "This day couldn't get any worse" punch them in the groin and ask "Are you sure?"**
**"The knight with the shiniest armour has done the least amount of brave or cool sh*t!"**
**"Due to the Economy, All dollar stores are now accepting 4 easy payments of 25 cents each."**
**"I had my identity stolen once. The next day I found it on my doorstep with a note saying, "F your luck, you can keep it."**
I used to start each post with a round of deep and or inspiring quotes. It has been awhile since I have found any good ones, so I decided to put a few up on today's. I hope you enjoy these even half as much as I enjoyed stealing them. ;)
**"Just curious does the word idiot end with a "U" ??"**
So last week we found a local sight on Facebook were people could vent and complain. Actually the sight found my wife and I. A few weeks ago I bought an end table at a garage sale, and make the "mistake" of putting it up for sale, for more money -online. I put mistake in quotes, because I would defiantly do it again! Anyways, it appears people have way to much free time here, and there were 22 comments about all of this evil doing. Neighbors that had never meet us, "knew" all about us-and were very willing to share. An actual helpful neighbor sent my wife and I the link to the page, so we could defend ourselves. As soon as we joined and started telling the real story---everyone scattered like cock roaches when you turn on the lights. Needless to say--I enjoy a good argument, even when I am losing. Losing is rare, unless I am arguing with my wife. Rare simply because, in my 8 years working at Wally World, if nothing else, I learned how to talk my way out of alllll of the trouble I got into. I also have to say---I really enjoyed this sight! And was bringing up random hot topics I have vented about on this page, to see what the local public had to say about them. You could say your piece, and there was a minimal amount of rules. I thought I was going to have to seek an intervention to get me off of the group. Very similar to the one I need for Facebook. Maybe an online support group/intervention to get me off of the page. Not really off of the page, a few things I use on there are very helpful, but off of the page much more per day I guess. Anyways, the page went Poof this week---sad since I just had found it and all the joys it had to offer. But I would like to think that I was a large reason the page went away.
So last week I was reading an actual book. Shocker I know! I used to read all of the time, and am trying to get back into that. If nothing else, so the kiddos will see me reading, and be more inclined to follow suit. At the moment they do not enjoy many activities that have no screen attached. When I lived in Bellingham, WA with no vehicle, I read a lot on the bus. Partly because I spent so much time on the bus, even when going on what should be a short trip. But mostly because, freaky and or very interesting people love to talk to me. And accept for the most interesting --people tend to talk to you much less, if your nose is in a book. You do not even have to be actually reading it. Anyways, I just read that in the old days-back before Google could tell us everything, people believed that we only had so many heart beats, and since exercising greatly increased there heart rate--they would die sooner. This sounds like a well thought out excuse to stay away from the gyms---but I think this was believed as truth. For one part--these people worked there butts off in the fields--so they did not even need a gym.
I have been trying to exercise much more, and am attempting to get back to jogging. As in, I have went once in the last two weeks. I have talked about jogging much in the past. But mostly wander if it is so good for you, why all the road side joggers look so miserable and in so much pain? I believe they jog by busy roads, because the roads must lead to a coffee or donut shop, they want others to see them being so healthy, and because they believe that if they pass out--someone will stop and rescue them. And than maybe drive them to a coffee or donut shop!
Speaking of medicine---our family just learned that if you have a nose bleed--you should not tip your head up with your nose in the air. This is what I have always been told, and what we have always told our kids. You should squeeze the tip of your nose, and look down--for 5 minutes. A long time for an adult, but an amazingly long time for a kiddo. We promptly jumped on the all knowing Google and other sights, and found they all said this same thing. What I would like to know, is when did all of this information change!?? And why did we not get the memo? Did you get the memo??
There are tons of ways to tell that the Holidaze are quickly approaching. For some reason--maybe it is because we now live in the desert, it does not seem like it could be so close to Turkey day at all. I believe the best way to recognize that Christmas and such is coming up, is to see the booze isles become much more festive in every retail store! They also expand--taking up multiple isles and locations in many stores. And why not, if we must put up with all of those shoppers and relatives and play Santa--why not be merrily blitzed!? Several years ago, I am happy to report--we started a new tradition. On Christmas Eve we open up a bucket of margaritas, pre maid -you can buy--you dump in the booze and let chill in your freezer for half of a day. This started several years ago---the first year my parents came to visit us over Christmas. It was also the first year my parents had meet my now wife, and our three kiddos, so we were not sure how smooth it would go. In an attempt to make it much betterer or much worse---we started this, what is now a great tradition for us. Although late night playing Santa with advanced toys is not advised. It is fun but not advised!
Another sure bet to realizing how close all the fun is-is hearing retail clerks belt out "happy holidays!' I personally despise this. It is not because they are clumping all the festivities together into one happy greeting. It is because they are weenies and scared they will get fired or yelled at for saying merry Christmas! I never said happy holidays while I was a cashier. And the fact that they are so gutless-makes me cringe just a little. The fact that so many retail workers roll over-is also why there will never be unions at places like Wally World. AND why they are making workers show up on Turkey day this year. Well part of the reason---the first being that to many people like to shop to much---forgetting the true reasons for the seasons -or maybe just eager to get away from all of those friends and relatives and take out there aggressions on the masses of other shoppers. Very ready to buy---because places like Wally World thrive on selling cheap disposable crap to a disposable nation, and on you!
We all scream for ice cream!
And now for all of you that signed up for Obama Care...
Because if you can't laugh about it,
You can not have any enjoyment.
I also heard a warning that there are thousands of fake sights on the Internet for Obamacare
waiting to steal your information.
Know how to locate the real sight?
It is the only web sight that is not working correctly!