Elvis Has Left The Building!

    **"People say that things happen for a reason. So when I hit you up side the head, remember I had a reason."**

    **"Today, I broke my record for the number of days I haven't died. I plan on breaking it again tomorrow."**

Party like a rock star!

Jeff Dunham-----

**WALTER: "Captain America opens this week... Who’s his enemy, Captain Mexico? ..Cuz he keeps trying to sneak in to take Captain America’s job."**

    **"What the heck, didn't that guy overdose? And here he is with you.... are you dead?"**----
   This was posted on my Facebook page, and originally stumped the crap out of me, for about two hrs.   Than I recalled that my profile picture right now, shows me and Elvis standing side by side.  He is alive a kicking all over Vegas!   And although I wish this was a current photo, at one point I lived very near the town, and had some great times.  Most do not necessarily need to stay in Vegas.

   Every time I would walk around Wally World in the dumps a wise old door greater would point at me and say "Do you care?" I'd recall it was all only mindless crap beating me down --and soon be in a better mood!  This same worker was also the "rain man" of zip codes.  Give him any zip code, and he could tell you what town it was in.  Ask him about a Wally World product of policy, and it was 50 50 if he knew the answer.

   
    At the same *Euegene OR store--another door greater handed me a rock on my birthday one year. Saying it was a "sex rock" "you know what a sex rock is right" she asked? "Y it's just another F*cking rock! O I could fill books about the wisdom found there.   I mention this, because it just happens to be my birthday.   And am happy? to say that even though I might or might not be turning 33, I got carded at the bar last night.  I have mentioned before how "interesting" verging on scary it is that every sight you log onto on your birthday, knows it's your speciel day!   For the most part I kind of find it creepy.   Although the birthday reminder for others, has saved me many a time!    I am already deciding this year, that it is kind of fun to read the warm wishes from people you really don't know well at all.   And find them kind of as heartfelt and mushy as that card you got from your insurence agent two months before your birthday!
     I get to close at work this year!   But with my birthday falling on a Sunday, not to many thrilling other options are out there.   Some how last year found me at work on my birthday also.   Topped off with a nice peice of choclate cake stuffed in my face.   It took a long while to get all of the frosting out of my long nose hairs.    How come already hair is growing in all the wrong areas?   I have what I call leg sweaters, I have so much extra hair on my legs.   But am going bald on my head, and have like three chest hairs!

     So I learned a few things at work this week.   The first is --I am a much happier worker when the tips are awsome!   Last night I learned that a few of my remaining co-workers really are awsome.  And they can consider the drinks they bought as my birthday present.   See I really am easy to shop for!     I learned that whip cream is extreamly entertaining.   And overly hard to get out of those little holes in the ear peice of a phone.   I get bored easily and call the sacks of whip cream we have for desserts and such,  my cream sack.   Mostly to see workers reactions while they are holding the bags and I yell, put down my cream sack!    Again another time when I look around and see I am the only one laughing.
    Others learned that if they start flicking the wrong crap, I have much more ammo and practice and will finish it.   This usually ends badly for me, very suddenly after I accomplish my goal.   And did once again this time.   I also learned that I need to take a refresher course in CPR.   I will not go into details of this, and will say that no ambulences were invovled, thanks to a very alart customer.   But sadly my last course was in high school.   And if Karma really is out there, I might need to use the buddy system while eating anything for the next few weeks.