Dirt Road Anthem --Jason A
I have been surprised in my travels, how few people seem to know what a read dirt road is. This is what I grew up on. Tried to learn to skateboard on. Crashed and burned on. In every way possible, from skateboards, to running, to bikes, to cars. I also learned to ride my bike on a dirt road. A hill to be exact. Just kind of climbed on, and aimed for the bottom of the hill. I can say, that brakes were not needed to stop on the first few trips! Some of the best dirt roads in Oregon were the old logging roads. The best ones are usually "closed" but full of mud and great times. Because for all Oregon may lack they have an endless supply of mud, mushrooms, and hippies.
**"You can't fix stupid!"**
**"Here's your sign!"**
I am going to re-frain from talking about "off" people in this post. Because as the months progress lately, I might actually be who these quotes are talking about. I know that my x used to proudly wear a shirt, proclaiming the first line, and than point at me, a lot.
I can not believe it is already basically July. The weather here, just started to act summer like, and the tourists that usually come this way in droves, still have not made there appearance. Plus, for me at least, the last six months have been basically a blur, and flown by.
**"What's the rule about white boys dancing in public?------ "Not unless your gay!"**---Scrubs
People seem to think I am having a seizure, and call the paramedics, when I decide to dance. My x has seen my dance only twice, and that was more than enough. It is kind of like singing Karoakie, I would have to be extra drunk to do so. And have never done the singing. I know from taking showers, that my singing skills are extra bad. Even the spiders are glad they have extra legs, to cover there ears, as they scamper quickly down the drain. One of our "big boned" co workers keeps trying to drag me along when he sings. I have told him if he would sing the Big Balls song, I would buy him two pitchers of beer! So far he hasn't taken the bait.
Have you ever heard the Detachable Penis song? That phrase is the main coarse, and Penis is brought up in the song a lot. It really is a real song. Anyways, one day when I was covering in electronics at Wally World, the song came over all the radios. I had never heard the song, and was busy staring at the ceiling trying to hide my snickering. The customers were busy glaring at me. I can not pick what the dj's play on the radio, but if I knew the official name of the song, I might request it over and over again!
One night recently while I was channel surfing at about 3 AM, I came across South Park. A usual stop for my channel clicking. It soon pictured several men bouncing on their over sized balls, like those rubber bouncy ball toys, down the street. Things are instantly more amusing the less sleep I get, so I just layed there shaking my head and laughing. I later watched the full episode, and learned they used microwaves to grow their balls, so that they could get medical mary jane. It's one of those things you would have to watch to understand.
And you say my mind wanders?
Awhile back my manager and I discovered that my work place has a PA system through the entire restaurant. And we spent about a week trying to fix the system. It hasn't worked for years, so the system really is not essential. It just sounded endlessly amusing. I used to get blamed for random pages and such during my time with Wally World. I can not tell you if there was a reason I was usually first to be blamed or not. I can say that during nightly meetings, I and another worker would stand beside all the managers, and pay someone else to make noises on the PA, so that it would be known, it was obviously not us playing around.
At this restaurant I picture talking to people getting ready to sit, or sitting in the place. "Don't sit there! Put that fork down! Leave your sister alone.....!" Please recall that I am from Wyoming, and very easily amused.
OK last thought for today. I am running out of coffee to sip on, and my fingers are getting kind of sore. Plus the people around me can smell burning bananas from me thinking so hard, I am sure. After watching Malcom in the Middle months ago--this idea has been running through my head. Most ideas from the show should automatically be put in your brains garbage file. This is were I also take no credit in coming up with the idea.
Anyways, this particular episode deals with one of the boys pretending to be an 18 year old girl on the Internet. Looking for single men. Descibed as beautiful of course, and having to strict parents that just didn't understand. In the end he got some paid flights to "meet" the men. I figure that most "victims" would be middle age, low end pervs, with disposable income. From not being married or having kids of there own. So it just might be as close to a victimless crime as there is? Plus one would get free trips. I start with Florida!