Thursday, June 16, 2011

Favorite Quotes **Number One**


    Here is a quick posting for everyone.  While you wait for the next list of quotes, please check out my past blogs.   These, along with many more “greats” are posted.  Complete with whom first said these lines *AKA- who I borrowed them from!   And my personal insights and thoughts to the quotes.  Please note: not all thoughts are recommended for anyone to read.   Next installment coming soon!   Or at least that is what I would like to think, but it took me two months of thinking about it, to post this first group.  Feel free to use any of these you enjoy.   That’s how I got them.  
    I will create a second post later on today.   One with much more thought and content put into it.   Also I will very soon have a great post about tonight’s 3rd Thursday downtown shin-dig.   As I am actually off work tonight, and headed that way after I find some din-din for myself.  

*I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it!
* It’s not the ups and downs in life that make life difficult—It’s the jerks!
* I have no idea what you just said, but I am going to smile and say “yeah”   Goes with the Wally World smile.
*Coffee first—Than your mundane bull sh*t.
*If one is late for their specie led class—is it proper for the teacher to call the student tardy?
*The guy that discovered milk—What was he doing to that poor cow?
*No one gives a sh*t about all the things your cell phone does.   You didn’t even it, you just bought it.  And anybody can do that!
*He was madder than an albino hitchhiking in a snow storm!
*How did Mr. Crabs have a baby whale?
*I  have been away from real winters to long-I just chocked on a snowflake.
*I’m going to open a liquor store and call it the 13th step.   And then open a topless coffee shop called Perkies right beside it.
*No brains  no headaches!
*My poo smells like roses!
*I practice safe sex—by leaving the lights on.
*I am not random—My brain just functions much faster than yours.
*Have you ever stopped to think-and then forgot to start again?
*If at first you don’t succeed –destroy ALL evidence that you tried.
*If at first you don’t succeed –Bungee jumping is not for you.
*If you don’t have anything nice to say—Come sit by me!
*One cannot fully understand something—Until you can explain it to your grandmother.
*Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but many people abuse the privilege!
*I will not have fun with educational toys!
*The best person I know lives in my mirror!
*You don’t have a great day---You make a great day!
*I about got hit while jogging—Getting in shape IS killing me.
*It’s called Facebook, not Assbook.
*I think I’m going to start smoking—to see if  I lose my smokers cough.
*If you smoke after sex, you are doing it to fast!
*Turns out, chess is nothing like checkers.
*Can restin’ your cell phone on your junk—give you cancer, down there?
*If you have no TV, what does all your furniture face toward?
*Sheep are safe!?!
*I didn’t get the memo!
*Do these pants make me look fat?   No but your ass does!
*That went over about as well as a turd in a punch bowl.

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