Wednesday, June 15, 2011

6/15/11 Another Day Older Not Necessarily Smarter.

                                                          **"Food is good!"**

                                   **"Is Santa's gal called a ho ho ho, for short?"**

    **"The news simply reiterates what I've been telling my daughters for years, : Stay away from wieners."**---Jeff Dunham

   **"Your dad is a man of few words. Why make him suffer by reading another Father’s Day greeting card? Just give him a hearty slap on the back and a six-pack."**
  **"Is it wrong to name your child Charity----and than go door to door asking for people to donate to charity?"**
    **"Every night I pick up around the house and in the morning the kids trash it, so tonight I'm going to trash the house and see if they pick it up in the morning."**

                         I got no kids to blame the mess on at my place at the moment.   And although I realize I just moved into this new place, it needs a quick clean up already.   Mostly from having no front screen door, and leaving the pad open to vent, and than quickly having a house full of cotton.   Maybe because I am just to used to being in motels lately, and there weekly cleaning.   Not that I didn't spot clean the night before they came into clean.  Which kind of defeats the purpose, but I guess I didn't want them to know how dirty a person I really am?  
       I have to say yesterday was an awesome day all around.   From hanging out with my parents, to hanging out with old friends, to talking to some really good friends.  I also got free food all day, and for whatever reason free food tastes ten time better than any food you can buy.   Last summer at work, I was always staying longer or the likes, and managed to snag quite a few free meals at work.   My best snag was a steak dinner from a very kool manager, who is almost impossible to get free food out of.   At a job past, a crummy truck stop in Arizona--  Every time the menu changed, the managers would hold a mandatory meeting, were we tasted all the new food items.   This worked out well for everyone involved.   We could tell the customers about each new menu item and people actually showed up to the meetings, because of all the free food!
     Yesterday I posted a link from the Sh*t my Dad Says website.   I post quotes from that same sight randomly.  Let me quickly explain my fascination with the sight, more the concept of the sight.   The writer has always dreamed about becoming a writer.  But in most aspects that does not pay well.   People like him and I sit at Starbucks and write some in between ragin games of solitaire on the computer.   Today I am switching that concept up, by writing at Burger King, because they have wi-fi, are a closer walk, and have greasy food and coffee!   Anyways, at some point recently the thirty something writer ended up moving back into his dads home.   He started writing down things his dad said while they talked and started by shortening them into tweets.   In time many people realized the posts were not only funny but helpful and maybe a little inspirational if you changed the concept just a little bit.   He soon had his own website, and a large following, and a TV sitcom deal to bargain with.   I have never seen the show, but wonder how the dad has any lines at all that are not bleeped out for editing.   He now has a huge following, as I am sure does his grumpy but "deep" father.   But through it all his dad still doesn't see him as a real writer at any level.  
     After just over a month of living here, I have been thinking alot about buying a moped.   Maybe because I am overly tired of walking every were.  And at least through the summer I could zoom around town.   Plus if you keep the moter power low enough, you do not need to have a drivers licence.   I guess the powers that be figure it is closer to a glorified bike at that point?   I looked at them a lot while living in Washington state, but feared all the days of non-stop rain.   In this same mind thought --I must say that I have always wanted to go to the Sturgis SD bike rally on a pink moped.   Picture that scene from Dumb and Dumber, were they are riding the moped, huddled together for safety and warmth---with far far more ass kicking to myself.    I indirectly made a new "friend" last winter--OK enemy.    When joking on a past managers Facebook page.  Her husband was going through a mid life crises of sorts, and was looking at buying a convertible.  As possibly the moped, not the best investment when one lives in Wyoming.   Were you might possibly be able to fully enjoy it two months out of the year, without having iceicles on your beard, and your boogers frozen inside your nose!   Anyways, I helpfully suggested, that she save cash and just buy him a pink moped.   I soon had a post on my page from the husband about were he would like to park his new pink moped!   I get bored easily, and have trouble not finishing anything like that I start, no matter how good an idea that is.   And quickly made the situation worse for myself.  Her husband was an angry, big boy.   In the end we came up with a new term though!   DURP---which in this case stands for ----Dim-witted Urban Redneck Parolee!   Plus it is great fun to randomly yell Durp!    Try it.   I have to admit the U---could use a better word, but there is not a ton of words to choose from that start with  U.   But don't tell the Durp what it stands for.
    I was just watching a show were they called Feb 13th---Desperation day.   Gals were easier to land a date with, because they did not want to be single on V times day!   But you have to make sure you end the date before midnight-or it becomes a V times day date.   I have previously written some random thoughts about the "holiday"   and they mostly relate to how I would rather break up with a girl friend, than celebrate.   Nothing much more to add here, I just thought this concept was amusing---thanks for playing!
    So Monday night I was actually home to watch Secret Life of an American Teenager for the first time since moving.   I sadly got hooked on the show while living in Washington with an awesome friend.   I say sadly because it is more like a soap, with horny teens running around.  And there struggles with the supposed new normal---school, dates, babies at 16.   But it is an addicting show.   I thought I could "catch" up on episodes on Netflix, but my lack of computer access has quickly shot that idea down.   Anyways, as I was watching yet another young character on the show that was pregnant, the commericals came on.   That's night sponsor was Nike----who's slogan is "just do it!"    Really?   Does anyone else find that just a little bit off or possibly disturbing?

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