Tuesday, February 15, 2011

More Rambling 2/15/11


     I am now going to make a very rare statement----so read closely----It is almost to quiet in this house!   After a crazy three days of moving, most of our boxes are unpacked.  I am also happy to say that most of our problems have been left at the old house.  Although I am the male, so maybe that is total bull!   Any way you put things -I am the only person in this house until Sunday afternoon.  My girlfriend, her brother, and her three kids, along with three dogs took off early this after noon in her moms new to her van, for the other side of the state.  A mere six hours away.   At one point I was going along on the trip.   But found it safer to stay put and "protect" the new house, and job hunt.   Beyond the tight quarters and such, a new addition to the long trip is my gf helping a great friend of hers out after her surgery.  I am not going to share whom the friend is or what she is having done, but can say that I would not wish the procedure even on my worse friends.   She has kids of her own and my gf is helping her and her kids make it through ruff times.  I can safely say that her and I can be socialble, but left long enough in the same room we might both have b*tch slap marks embedded in our faces.  All of this added to hating the town it is all taking place in, left me feeling the better choice was to opt for being alone and or single.

If you see the above sign---Make a U Turn Now!
Although they have a great slogan......
I got nothing to complete that sentence.
    Although I have been able to help with bills and good times at our house without working so far, my mini vacation needs to come to an end.  I am around the house to much for every ones good and do not sit well.   So my job hunt this time around, officially starts tomorrow.   Wahoo!   Today after the house cleaned out for awhile I had some me time.  I realize many of you, might say my whole time in Wyoming was me  time.  But I had to share that time with sheep.  Because sheep are safe!   Wait!,  shhh!   Although I lived alone, I pretty much lived at work.  Also my parents lived in the same time.  Along with many other relatives, so I spent much time with them.   And seemed to have very little free time the year I lived in the frigid state.  
    I went on a nice jont to the bay.   And roamed around.  Pictures will be up very soon.   keep your shirts on.  Unless you are female, and very attractive...    I tried to hang around long enough to watch the sun set over the bay, but it was way to cloudy for that.  But found a break in the rabid wind long enough to smoke one of my favorite cigars along the beautiful water.  

   I pause to talk about cigars in my past now.   I must first say that I have truly not smoked a cigar for over a year now.   Until today.   I am sure no one cares, am just sayin'
    Soon after the wind picked up more, somehow.  And than got colder.   So I found a nice hid away coffee joint --very abundant in WA and warmed up.   At the same time I learned that Irish creamer ruins a good cup of Jo!   I than found some good beer and wandered home.   After a calming/pain taking away actual bath, I was ready to slack in front of the boob tube.   My legs and feet are still hating me from my nice job yesterday.  It was short, but it has been many months since my last jog.   After sharing with my 2 and a half readers of this blog, I am listing things I need to get accomplished in the next few daze.   How much of this actually gets accomplished is still open for debate.  
    Next I hope to list some of my favorite stolon and quoted quotes of the last few months.   "Write that down."

Cigars-- Seattle trip, spegit coming up nose freaking hurts. Leave in half way dental floss for nose. I can see the commercials now, remove unwanted boogers. Brings us to frozen boogers. Ever had? Freaking hurts even more than the upchucked spegit bits. Course have to live were it is really cold to experience. As in not here. When it drops below 80 people start to panic. 50 and they are digging in their closests for coats. Wyoming, it gets that warm and we break out our shorts. Cord to engine block on car-----

     Back to the Seattle trip.   One night my buddy and  I went to Seattle.  We were used to buying cheap ass cigars and smoking them down.  On this trip we found a great cigar store, and decided to go alllll out and buy snazzy and or expensive cigars!   And we both left with the same large, good smelling cigar.   A short time later we ended up down on the water front and lit them up.  After a quick walk about the coast line, we headed for downtown Seattle by the ball parks.  It wasn't long before we found a very kool bar and were standing in front of it.  Tokin it up, and over all looking toatly kool!   I had little of my large cigar left and was feeling far from kool.   In fact at the moment I was leaning on the outside of the bar, feeling overly tipsy.  
    I figured I was the only one feeling that way, and hid my crappy feelings and stomach turning.  We entered the bar and sat right up front on some high bar stools.  The bar tender was onna the cutest gals I had seen in a long time.  I was not feeling like myself at all.  And my drink order came out in a gargled sentence of words that do not in any way, even to this day form an actual sentence.  It came out something like, I order fire frankin berry dog poo eat crotch dingle berries!  But I was excited about my order.  And thats all that matters.   The very attractive bartender brought me some kind of drink, and I attempted to drink it.    Even though I was sitting down, I was feeling very bad.   I was sweating like crazy, and pretty sure I was going to have  a heartattack.  Even though the bars fans were on full blast, I was sweating bullets.  
    The game let out and the bar started to get very full.  At this point I decided it might be best to see if I could actually get myself out of the bar.   Apprently my face was turning very green.   Great to add to my sweating bullets.   Both of us decided we were feeling very badly and wanted to see if we could get to our truck or should find a motel room for the night.   We made a dash for the exit and I started puking as I walked out.   Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I kept walking.  
    At the next corner a guy asked my buddy if he wanted to buy some pencils.   My buddy mostly told him to F himself and kept walking.   This did not go over well with the penicl pusher.   Next, my sick self came down the street.  As he held a pencil or two up for me to examine.  I pucked all over his shoes.   Now running down the street, with spegiti coming out of my nose and mouth, and an angry pencil seller cussing me out.  
    The secound round of puke, made me fell much better.  And ready for a much longer night.   We found a Mc d's open all night, and cleaned up inside.   I soon found out that my buddy felt overly sick too, he just didn't want to say anything to me.   I was also trying to keep it a secret, until he noticed my face turning a deep frog green.   We later learned that we had purchased all day cigars.  Meaning it should have takin' most of the day to smoke them.  Not the 45 minutes we inhaled them deep.    The lead sherrief on the Dukes of Hazard is always knawing on an all day cigar.  It was at least a few weeks before either of us tried another cigar, of any kind.   I told this story to my mom awhile back, and her disbelief and disgust wasn't in how fastly we chocked down the cigars.  But that I was dumb enough to smoke.  
    Backwoods cigars. Story on back is hrs of fun. Took me twenty minutes to not read out loud what it said. Years ago when men were men and trees with holes and sheep feared manly men they rolled their own cigars…. I spent weeks asking my gf to buy some of the smokes calling them Backdoor cigars hoping she would ask the cashier for a package of those. “I would like to purchase that purple pack of Backdoor cigars sir!” You heard me Backdoor, and no I am not making fun of your rainbow tattoo.
Acid cigars---are my new choice. Hard to find. Some cashiers just look at you like you should be in the shop next door, the one that also sells a huge selection of bongs. Or weed humidifiers, or whatever they are called this week. Smoked two of them before taking a drug test awhile back. Test took way to long to come back. And I was sure that the acid really was something bad. But you can’t ask the new bosses about it. “I was starting to get paranoid, errr worried about my drug test, I did study all night for it!”
   Curly hair in cigar-friend smoked anyway.     One day the same buddy as above and I were enjoying the WA coast.   We had a super cheap back of cigars with us.  Whatever brand we had that day, did not want to light.  After many failed attempts to light, my buddy started to un-wrap his cigar.  Long, curly story short---even though he found a very long very curly hair in the cigar.   He continued to try to light the thing.   Thats all I can say about that story.

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