Monday, February 21, 2011

I'm not Random My Brain Just Procsesses Things Way Faster Than Yours!

       **"I'm not random My brain just processes things way faster than yours!**"
  **"Yelling snap into a Slim Jim,   has a whole new meaning at a gay bar."**---Tosh.O

   I tend to not be well liked.   No big surprise for those of you that do know me.  Or have talked to me very long .  I usually do fine, until I start talking for awhile.  My mind wanders, and it usually wanders to a scary place.  Well you would probably find it scary, while I was sitting in the corner laughing about my thoughts.  I tend to say what I am thinking at the moment.  This gets worse the drunker I am.  I am working on self control of my thoughts, with age, but sometimes I can't even control myself.  OK most of the time.   I apologize ahead of time for anyone I may offend in the next weeks worth of blogs.  I kind of mapped this blog out ahead of time, and am pretty sure I or it, will not offend anyone.  But sometimes as when I am talking, it just sounds way better in my head.   Were I have my own laugh track.   Which reminds me--it is great to have custom music when you are out jogging.  Any music actually.  Especially if the person you are running with is really annoying!   But what I find most motivational for a good workout--is minutes and minutes strung together of people cheering and clapping.  Like after a song at a concert.   Call me crazy.   See, none of this was mapped out in my thought out planning, it just appeared on my blank page.  
    In closing of the above thoughts--if you don't like my rambling or ideas in any post-please comment.  Good or bad or evil = I like your thoughts.   And if I don't -you better hide your name!  OR if you see me walking around town, head a bobbling, punch me.  But as you are kicking my ass, please tell me what you disliked.   I , like you, hate getting punched with no explanation. 
    For the last year I worked for a great little restaurant called Jb's.   Great restaurant---bad slogan.  It stands for just Better!   Honestly.   I would imagine this slogan would make it hard to make commercials.   "Hey Stan, how is your food?------ why its just better than ..... to keep my future job offers with the company open, I will let you fill in the blanks.   Anyways, I just learned that seven of their stores were just closed nation wide.   I was not aware that they still had 7 stores!   We heard awhile back that one restaurant of theirs in AZ was bought out by a local Target so that they could expand their parking lot.   That's when you know their might be problems.  Just a lil bit!   I guess their service wasn't just better than shopping at Target.   But maybe that is because I and the great crew from the Sheridan, Wyoming store didn't work there.   And than I woke up ---I know I know. 
    But buck up because I also just learned today that it is 139 daze till summer!   Unless you live somewhere like Wyoming, Minnesota, or Alaska.  Than it is 280ish.   Which brings us to this weeks question--- Do you feel calm while on the toilet??   Could it be your office, even away from home, or are you always tense while on the throne.  Waiting for someone to walk in?    Please let me know your answer and why.   Awhile back I was waiting in a dentists office --and had to use the restroom.   Even though the rooms, had locks--this one was unlocked.   I walked in on a man, taking a poo.   Not the best image, way to meet someone new, or pick up line.   Just using this as a sort of public service time, to always make sure if you are not in your own bathroom, to check the lock.   And if you don't --its not socially acceptable to get mad at the person "finding you" or ask them to wipe your bottom afterwards. 
    As I was trying to find a job today, I passed a new place down town called Man Pie.   I am not making any of this up.   I believe it is some kind of cafe--but could and still can't determine what they are selling or to whom their target audience is.   I keep saying Target in this blog, maybe they will send me some free gift cards?   Anyways, if you know what Man Pie is, or think that I would want a man pie, or think that I have a man pie  please let me know.  And in this day and age -- is it discrimination to not have a woman pie shop?   Should one really say woman pie?   Does constantly reading the word pie, make you hungry for pie?  
     So on to the next topic, stop thinking about pie, you!   For whatever reason, probably to escape the down pour of rain, I ended up sitting inside the downtown bus station for awhile today.  I can say that it always constant great people watching and beats any Saturday morning soaps.  I had several homeless people on one side of me.   Again I can state, that no matter how bad things have been for me, their is always someone worse off than myself.  And I don't thank God enough that I am not living under a bridge somewhere, raising pigs and "herbs."   One talked about how he spends daylight hours waisting time till night, when you can rest away yet another night.  They have to forge for everything.   The only thing I had to question about these homeless--was why they all had cell phones.  I get that they would not have a home phone, but seriously, who is calling them? 
    Instant contrast to the teens on the other side of me.  Who were mad at the world, but mostly like mad at their like parents who made them ride the lame like bus and like stuff!   Do they also text the word "like" I wonder?   Their main worries were if there $200 sneakers were clean, that there cell phone batteries were about to die, and beating mom and dad back to the house.   I can't do anything for either group--just thought it was interesting.   I can say that personally wearing a lot of shoes, makes ones feet stink.   It also helps you appreciate others way more!    Being a dishwasher at a restaurant for awhile, makes you much nicer to the regular dishwasher when you return to your job.   I have been homeless and a teen before although I am sure I was never like that like conceited.   My parents would have like slapped the crap outta me.   

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