10/25/2012

     I pause in my typing and coffee consumption to view the sun.  Now that fall made it's about week long appearance, winter is here, and seeing the sun is now a rarity in The Great North West.  Perfect timing though, because today is the Jog-A-Thon at the youngest two kiddos school.  I would go into more detail on what that is, but the name kind of explains itself!   My wife and I were helping out today and with the entire process, but I got annoyed with the main leader, who still has no clue what my name is, and decided more coffee was in my future!

 

 

 

 

Above could also be a picture of me ---before my morning coffee.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to make coffee in the morning,

mainly because you have not yet consumed any coffee?

 

 

I have been trying to eat a much healthier diet.

Trying is the key word.

For the most part I have noticed that my body is so shocked to consume healthy foods,

that it goes into major shock and I get sick.

OK  this is not entirely true, but is amusing.

I have decided I am in a shape, not good shape, but

a circle is still a shape!

 

 

I wonder if having to add the calories to the ordering menu at Mc-Donald's

has hurt there business any?  I do know for sure that the letters on the menu REALLY shrunk!

I was also surprised to learn that the pancake breakfast had like 220000 calories.  Give or take 2 zeros.   This makes the carton the pancakes come in far more healthy!

 

 

   **I gots Halloween off work to spend with the kiddos! Now what to dress up as?? And no--I am not already wearing my mask!"**

 

 

 

   We took a quick trip to Seattle yesterday---I will share more in my week re-cap for the other blog sight.   And there was a break in the rain long enough that we got to see the full shine of the Space Needle's new paint job.   In honor of turning 50 years old this year.  

 

I did not take the above moon picture, but it is super kool and it shows the new gold top!

 

Local residents have voted and the next paint job will be trees wrapped around the entire top.  Also  should be a great picture.  If not a super expensive canvas.

This is the Evergreen State and all.

 

 

 



    So along with all of the voting fun-- this year, Washington voters also "get" to vote about legalizing pot.  We have very mixed thoughts about this--in short the state will get tons in revenue but they will also have total control over the mess.  Plus I can easily see medical weed costs, for those few that really need it--benefit from it, is a better word choice, skyrocketing.  And just because our state would recognize it as legal, would the Federal government?   I think it is one more thing the government should stay out of.  But what do I know??   I do know that Oregon hippies will be beyond disgruntled if our state legalizes this year.  Because they have been trying to pass this for at least ten years, when I lived in Oregon.   Maybe the supporters in Oregon should set down there weed a little more often ;)  I have been having issues with You-Tube and my blogs---- but now dedicate the song "Because I was High" by Afro Man  to Washington voters, if the law passes.    Play it as we watch the states productivity magically decline.

 

 

Still trying to figure out who to vote for???

I am!

 

I believe everyone should vote.

But here in Washington it can get very discouraging. 

Beyond the political ads, fights, and "great" selection---

Washington polls are not even closed, by the time the TV newscasts select the presidential winner.

 

 

   I have written about many a cup of coffee and MANY a cup of Starbucks.   Above is a picture of a Starbucks fail.   With the van door open ---it shortens there name in a bad way for business!

How is it already June???

   

  Hello!   First off I would like to apologize to all of my readers.  All 2.5 of you!   If the average family can have 3.5 people in it, I can have 2.5 readers.  Do the math.  I do know there are readers out there, I can hear your lips move as you try to decipher my random rambling each post.  And I am happy to post, that tomorrow I can boast 8600+ views to this blog!   I assure you all that I have many ideas and posts in the works for both of my blogs.  I just have been taking a break on them to collect more material, and to collect myself.  I have been failing greatly as a husband and maybe even a man in the last few months.  And am starting on the long, crawling journey to better myself and earn trust back, among other things, with many people.  Getting underway was more important than current postings on here.   This will be a quick post, to get me back in the habit of writing again.   Lucky you!

  

    **"To avoid condom related accidents use two condoms with chili powder in between them if the outer one breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you will know."**

**"Dyslexia cost me my job in IT. Turns out my boss wanted me to unzip his 'files'.**

    **"We were making out on the couch and She's like "Let's take this upstairs" and I'm like "OK you grab one side and I'll grab the other"**

   **"Aapparently "Kill myself" was not an appropriate response when my boss asked me, "What would you do if you were me?"**

  I am not sure what this sign means---but it is what my wife proclaims we do every time we lock the kids out of our bedroom and turn off the lights....   I kid!

   Again--I am not sure about this one, but should it really be a kids book?  I do suppose it is better than the book, "I tossed my cookies!"

                                                      "Our car is 80 miles that way!!?"

  Professor Getty is hitting Bellingham this week. And we are going to celebrate by taking a long, very stupid hike. Blog posts and pictures to come!  This may or may not be his real name.  I can say that although exciting, dangerous, and always something to write about, VERY few people have takin' a 2nd hike with me and Mr Getty!   In short, if we had video recorded even half of our hikes, and than sold the tapes ---we would both be very rich.   The worse part about all of our hikes, is that we would jump off cliffs, fight off snakes, slide down waterfalls, and than fall down and get hurt twenty feet from our vehicle, in the parking lot!

                                   How you know you have hiked just a little to far!

   Do not believe what you might hear---I do not wish to have a birthday coming up, very soon.  
Maybe turning 34 will mean that I will only get carded half of the time when buying booze.   


   So the other day, my wife and I were stopped at a red light and a man crossed the street with a shirt on that said--- "I love boobies!"   Deep I know, and than I instantly wanted his T-shirt!  Anyways, we often joke about me having A sized manly breasticles.  I would show you a picture now, but this is a family blog.  My wife said -that I show flash the man my boobies.  Because he would probably quickly re-think the statement on his shirt.   As I am typing this, I am learning this is probably another of the many stories, were you had to be in the car, and there, to really find as amusing.   Kind of like when you watch a movie at 3 AM with no sleep, and laugh and laugh.  And than watch the same movie at 2 PM with your spouse, as they glare at you wondering when the Lifetime drama movie turns into the comedy you told her about.   If you ever find my blogs funny---please contact me immediately, if not sooner!    Actually I am kind of sad how few ever comment on my posts.   I enjoy negative comments as much as positive ones, and there are tons of ways to contact me.   

  


   OK  now I must earn my name badge once again.   This happens quite a lot---  just ask my wife!   Actually I have been much nicer to everyone this year.   Maybe after realizing how much Karma came after me for all of my comments in the past.  More on this topic in the next few blogs---simply because I was told I couldn't talk about all of this!   Mistake number 1 for this "fine" person --since they have not gotten that memo!   I will also say that if nothing else, I have gained a new reader ---because she will be watching for such posts ;)

                *Calling me names, and than being surprised when I stoop to your level = FAIL!
                * Being butt hurt over FB comments & involving your husband = double FAIL!
                * Ending the "argument" with a plug for your personal blog page = EPIC 
                                                         Thanks for playing!


    As I said above, I will get into this in more blogs for sure---but here are the cliff notes.


   Someone saw my wife rightly complaining about me on her Facebook sight.   This someone decided to post on my wife's page-- that I was a piece of sh*t----not her call, even if she had all of the facts.   All of the facts can not be gained while conversing with a drinker, and while consuming large amounts of pot.  One  might learn more by actually talking to my wife, but there I go again, thinking!    Anyways, I took offence to the post---and made my own post back.  This, like many things I write, did not go over well-- and resulted in a 1 AM call from the someones husband,  mostly stating that I should watch my back.   *I can't wait to see what kind of call this post will generate!!   Please note---I did not use any names, stray from the truth, or bad mouth anyone in this paragraph.  Stating facts, like voting is still allowed in the United States. 

    A few more posts from me--- got me this grand response.  So grand that I cut and paste it ---so that I get it right for sure!

• You may not use my name or any similarity to me in your blog.....it's a privacy thing....Legal stuff and all....

  
  

  **Please note ---the above does not say that I can not use there words.....

  
  

  
  

   And in conclusion tonight----   My last thoughts on my Facebook wall --from earlier tonight

  
  

          I really enjoy my blogs---because I can vent and say what I wish. You have to click on the blog to read my rambling, not see it on your FB stream. But I recently learned that it is illegal to post about others in my blog. 1st--I have a topic for the next few blogs! and 2nd--- sue away---I own no actual cash!! **My lawyer is the same one that defends all those truck drivers that supposedly "Drive poorly" and can be reached at 1-900- eat-sh*t. Thanks for playing!










  

     First off, I am slowly inching toward 6000 views on this blog.   So thank you to all that have stumbled across my rambling!   I have full intentions of completing this blog early, getting some stuff done all afternoon, and than writing a 2nd blog today.  We shall see.   "Two-fers" have been few and far between  lately.   I seem to have many days off work this week, and tons of things to do before moving to fill the  hours.   But I have been slacking.   Actually most of the things on my list, I can not really do until the week before flying out.  Making that week fly by I am sure.



  

 

     Some hunters about to become hunted.   Look closely in the background.   These two are about to find out, why you shouldn't mess with mama bear!  Below is kind of the same.   In this age of cameras every were, one should always be aware of there surroundings.

    I have to say that Coke, had some of the lamest adds during the Super Bowel.   And not just because I do not enjoy Coke.    I like this post though!

    I have been told I am a little sarcastic at times.   But if I ever hit the below level of perfection, I can die happy.   Than again maybe I am really already at this level.

**"If you can't convince them confuse them."**

 And now for today's motivation

  
  For those men out there still shopping for that perfect V-Times day gift,   THIS IS NOT IT!   It is some of the most creative advertising I have seen in awhile.  But I still think it classifies under the Fail column.   How about you?

  I have talked about the dangerous of sights like Web MD before.  You think you are looking up basic symptoms and soon are sure you have about a week to live!  Find a good DR somehow, and stay away from these sights!

   As a server, I really don't mind customers on cell phones anymore.  The only time it is overly annoying, is when the eater is so into their call, that they can not pause to order.  And than they get mad at you for waiting until they get off the phone, to come back and attempt to take there food order.  That and when they are yelling into the phone, usually cuss words, so that the entire restaurant can "enjoy" there conversation.    I just heard about a new game to try while dinning out with friends.  It is to test how dependant your social group is of there cell phones.   When you sit down to eat, everyone turns there phones on, and puts  them face up on the middle of the table.  As they ring and vibrate for calls and text messages, everyone ignores there phones.   The first one to give in and grab there phone, buys everyone Else's dinners.   Anyone want to buy my dinner, errrr eat with me?  

**"I stuffed some socks in my pants to impress the ladies but it didn't work... so I'll try moving the socks to the front of my pants."**----- You know you are now visulizing this.  

 

 

**"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us."**

**"Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words."**
----Calvin & Hobbes-----  I think one of the best cartoons was Calvin & Hobbes.   Greatly illistrated, very deep, and the Sunday ones were a whole story in themselves.   Garfield is next followed closly by Snoopy I think.    It always amazes me how any cartoonist can pump out these cartoons daily.  Most of them funny, most of them have been doing this for years.   Didn't Snoopy run like 50 years?  I am attempting to write a blog a day, and find it very challenging. 

 

         ** Yelling "Snap into a slim jim!" Has a completly diffrent meaning while in a gay bar.**

 

 

   

               **Next time there is an awkward silence whisper out "Did you forget your line?"**

 

 

 

  

    "The Cool thing about Facebook is that you can give credit for your quotes to anybody and nobody will know the difference" - Abraham Lincoln

 

          **"Can restin' your turned on cell phone on your junk, give you cancer down there?"**----

 

    This started out as a joke post awhile back.    But the more I think about it the more it makes me a little bit nervous.   Usually when I am sitting, I rest my cell phone in my lap.   And now every time it's there  and my phone lights up with a new text message, I have to say it bugs me just a little bit.  Not enough that I would stop getting text messages, or throw the phone across the room.   Although the 2nd, would be fun.   After I get off the phone, and done cooking the baked potato I have duct tapped to my cell phone, I will get back to you on the dangers of all this!   I am sure that something will kill us off--weather it be the eggs you have for breakfast every morning, your new shower head, Bubba in jail--that wants his soap back, or toxins from the computer screen you are reading this blog from.  Notice I did not say enjoying this blog, because odds are, you are not.    I do have to paunder what all of those wi-fi signals, cell phone signals etc etc are doing to us though.   Although I would also have to say that none of them is effecting me.   Although I would also have to say that none of them is effecting me. 

 

 

   

 

 

 

  OK---I once had a friend who became a vegetarian, after she was driving behind a cattle truck that wrecked.   The highway and her car was soon covered in pieces of cow, and she decided that eating animals was not for her anymore.  

 

**"Ever had a cross eyed girl friend and than dumped her because she was seeing someone else?"**

 

                I love people that are sooo surprised when winter hits. welcome to Wyoming!------

 

Going back to my early rambling, maybe these people need a new calender, so they recall that a new season is on the way, called winter! 

 

 

 

 

                Although some times at work, I am biting it so hard, it starts to bleed a lil bit

 

                            **"If swimming is so good for you, than how do you explain whales?"**------

On the same thought line, how does Mr Crabs, from Sponge Bob--have  a whale for a daughter?  Don't even try to decipehr cartoons, it will keep you up late at night.   I used to work with a crazy dude at Wally World, OK that really does not narrow things down much.   But this individual could do the Sponge Bob laugh perfect, and would put it over the stores PA system.   Nothing harder than to be talking to a customer, hear that, and manage echoing through the store, and manage to keep a straight face.  

 

 

 

Forgot today was a holiday and the banks are closed whoops time to break out my new calender-----

This was yesterday.   As I was pulling into the parking lot, I noticed it was empty and had a here's your sign, slap your forehead moment.   Stupid holidaze that fall on Sundays.   The worse thing about the whole episode was that my new 2012 calender came from the bank!

 

 

 

I only live in a room but am constantly amazed by two things.   How dirty it gets each week.  Especially since I usually only use the room to sleep in.  And how my stuff disappears in it. It is not even a big room, so how can things go "poof!" so easily?    I have learned to keep my door closed, because my clothes rarely make it on my shelves, and the landlords little rat dog like underwear.   Several times the landlord has been in the back yard yelling out my name, holding up a pair of my boxers with two fingers, and a highly sour/disgusted look on her face.   I have also chased the dog in the backyard, after my shorts.   Not fun because the dog knows shes faster, and has something you want.  So mostly just teases me just out of my reach.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                 Well played Costco, well played!

 

   A few quick thoughts---imagine that!    First the wine bottle picture came from a sight called Fail.com   I am easily amused, but think most of you would enjoy checking out the sight.   Many of you might be pictured in it---jokin'!  Next-- although I love a good pot of coffee or two in the morning, just put a straw in my pot of coffee, and give it to me to go.   I hate all energy drinks.   They taste nasty, and surly rot through your livers faster than you can sign up for a marathon.   Red Bull annoys me most.   We used to go to a bar in Oregon, that must have bought the drink by the truck load.  They put it in all kinds of drinks.   And I have to say, it ruined the drinks.   Red Bull does not give you wings either.   I recall one fine day while standing on a barn roof top, holding a huge blanket in my hands.   I assumed that if you held all the blankets corners right, you could slowly float to the ground, like a parachute.   I did not hold the corners right.   This concept did work for about 2.5 seconds.   And than it just made me hurt.   Luckily I landed on my head, so I was fine.  

     And lastly---I have talked about this in a whole past blog, but some people should not be having kids.   Topping that list---- is anyone that would shop at the above pictured sales, the couple I worked with that got married in Wally World, and possibly myself.