Hello! First off I would like to apologize to all of my readers. All 2.5 of you! If the average family can have 3.5 people in it, I can have 2.5 readers. Do the math. I do know there are readers out there, I can hear your lips move as you try to decipher my random rambling each post. And I am happy to post, that tomorrow I can boast 8600+ views to this blog! I assure you all that I have many ideas and posts in the works for both of my blogs. I just have been taking a break on them to collect more material, and to collect myself. I have been failing greatly as a husband and maybe even a man in the last few months. And am starting on the long, crawling journey to better myself and earn trust back, among other things, with many people. Getting underway was more important than current postings on here. This will be a quick post, to get me back in the habit of writing again. Lucky you!
**"To avoid condom related accidents use two condoms with chili powder in between them if the outer one breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you will know."**
**"Dyslexia cost me my job in IT. Turns out my boss wanted me to unzip his 'files'.**
**"We were making out on the couch and She's like "Let's take this upstairs" and I'm like "OK you grab one side and I'll grab the other"**
**"Aapparently "Kill myself" was not an appropriate response when my boss asked me, "What would you do if you were me?"**I am not sure what this sign means---but it is what my wife proclaims we do every time we lock the kids out of our bedroom and turn off the lights.... I kid!
Again--I am not sure about this one, but should it really be a kids book? I do suppose it is better than the book, "I tossed my cookies!"
"Our car is 80 miles that way!!?"
Professor Getty is hitting Bellingham this week. And we are going to celebrate by taking a long, very stupid hike. Blog posts and pictures to come! This may or may not be his real name. I can say that although exciting, dangerous, and always something to write about, VERY few people have takin' a 2nd hike with me and Mr Getty! In short, if we had video recorded even half of our hikes, and than sold the tapes ---we would both be very rich. The worse part about all of our hikes, is that we would jump off cliffs, fight off snakes, slide down waterfalls, and than fall down and get hurt twenty feet from our vehicle, in the parking lot!
How you know you have hiked just a little to far!
Do not believe what you might hear---I do not wish to have a birthday coming up, very soon.
Maybe turning 34 will mean that I will only get carded half of the time when buying booze.
So the other day, my wife and I were stopped at a red light and a man crossed the street with a shirt on that said--- "I love boobies!" Deep I know, and than I instantly wanted his T-shirt! Anyways, we often joke about me having A sized manly breasticles. I would show you a picture now, but this is a family blog. My wife said -that I show flash the man my boobies. Because he would probably quickly re-think the statement on his shirt. As I am typing this, I am learning this is probably another of the many stories, were you had to be in the car, and there, to really find as amusing. Kind of like when you watch a movie at 3 AM with no sleep, and laugh and laugh. And than watch the same movie at 2 PM with your spouse, as they glare at you wondering when the Lifetime drama movie turns into the comedy you told her about. If you ever find my blogs funny---please contact me immediately, if not sooner! Actually I am kind of sad how few ever comment on my posts. I enjoy negative comments as much as positive ones, and there are tons of ways to contact me.
OK now I must earn my name badge once again. This happens quite a lot--- just ask my wife! Actually I have been much nicer to everyone this year. Maybe after realizing how much Karma came after me for all of my comments in the past. More on this topic in the next few blogs---simply because I was told I couldn't talk about all of this! Mistake number 1 for this "fine" person --since they have not gotten that memo! I will also say that if nothing else, I have gained a new reader ---because she will be watching for such posts ;)
*Calling me names, and than being surprised when I stoop to your level = FAIL!
* Being butt hurt over FB comments & involving your husband = double FAIL!
* Ending the "argument" with a plug for your personal blog page = EPIC
Thanks for playing!
As I said above, I will get into this in more blogs for sure---but here are the cliff notes.
Someone saw my wife rightly complaining about me on her Facebook sight. This someone decided to post on my wife's page-- that I was a piece of sh*t----not her call, even if she had all of the facts. All of the facts can not be gained while conversing with a drinker, and while consuming large amounts of pot. One might learn more by actually talking to my wife, but there I go again, thinking! Anyways, I took offence to the post---and made my own post back. This, like many things I write, did not go over well-- and resulted in a 1 AM call from the someones husband, mostly stating that I should watch my back. *I can't wait to see what kind of call this post will generate!! Please note---I did not use any names, stray from the truth, or bad mouth anyone in this paragraph. Stating facts, like voting is still allowed in the United States.
A few more posts from me--- got me this grand response. So grand that I cut and paste it ---so that I get it right for sure!
I really enjoy my blogs---because I can vent and say what I wish. You have to click on the blog to read my rambling, not see it on your FB stream. But I recently learned that it is illegal to post about others in my blog. 1st--I have a topic for the next few blogs! and 2nd--- sue away---I own no actual cash!! **My lawyer is the same one that defends all those truck drivers that supposedly "Drive poorly" and can be reached at 1-900- eat-sh*t. Thanks for playing!