Saturday, April 2, 2011

It's Always April Fools Day At My House

   **"I have great faith in fools----self-confidence, my friends call it."**--Edgar Allan Poe

                 **"Suckin at something is the first step to being sort of good at it."**
    **"‎"Whether you think you can or think you can't--your probably right"--Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

      **It's Always April Fools day at my house"**      Some could argue that I am an over achiever, and a fool year round.  I seem to be an over achiever in all the wrong areas!

    At my last job, everyday was an experience for a prank or fun with my co-workers.  So much so that I believe we left each other alone on April Fools day.    If you would like to hear more about any of these----let me know.  Plus it makes my blog look longer with little effort.  This list was left at work, when I left for all to enjoy.  And went over much better than the list of "code names" I left at one Wally World when I transferred.  Mainly because many did not know their nicknames.   As I present
 What I learned at Jb's --in no particular order :
* Don't be a bully.
  * Pudding fights back
  * Turn the salad bar drain off
  * You have to work years to get a name badge
  * Don't yell "Wha!/?---Wha?
  * Sheep are safe
  * Moles hair is purdy
  * Don't trip over the low bar of standards
  * No slip shoes don't work on ice
  * Don't dump pop on workers heads
  * Story time rocks!
  * Like a G6 is not a modifier
  * Modifiers can be fun and helpful
  * Juice has a pet dinosaur and a belt!
  * Server school can be fun!
  * Tips are optional
  @ Crack kills--Thanks Mr Clean
  *Jolly rules
  *Jolly isn't always---jolly
  * Pepper burns
  * Hidden pictures are hard to find
  * cookies stay frozen in the ice bin!
  * Cell phones are bad
  * BYOB-- bring your own bucket to parties
  * Blondes have more fun, cause they are never sure were they really are
  * The Chip a Hoy tribe, is still alive and well
  * Bears can dance!
  * I'm banned from writing on any boards
  * Theirs soup in my eye!
  * We make the soup and pie fresh daily
  * KABOOM!!
  * Take smoke breaks-even if you don't smoke
  * The more you make=the less you work
  * Cookies are WAY better than bread
  * Milkshakes hate me
  * The slogan needs work--wait, no   it's just better!
  * I can no longer enjoy corn dogs or dreamcicles
  *Don't stick your finger in random holes   in the wall
  * Dishes break when hitting the ground
  * The hospital route works!
  * I don't want to talk about it
  * Code names are always fun
  * Half moons appear inside too!
  * Night crew rocks
  * Go in the walk in-using the buddy system
  * French fries in bowel are for workers  not customers
  *One should eat every ten minutes
  * It is never to busy for muffin time
  * If you order food-it will get hella busy
  *Don't piss off the cooks   they control your orders and make your food.
  * Stay away from my manly bresticles
  *Mini trays and me =
  *Butter  even with sprinkles, doesn't taste like ice  cream
  * Trash bags are essential in the dish room.
  *If you eat all the cookie dough, one can't make cookies
  * Need a drive through.  Please pull forward!
  * "Code names" can be sexual harassment.
  * The cash register is up front.
  * We can't mail food vouchers to schools after they leave.
  * Keep it to one syllable words  or draw pictures for long explanations.
  *  Long pants help make one a real boy
  * I will be a real server some day.
  * Don't use the movie Waiting to train new servers
  *  Marshmallows are for smores not management
  * Bleach ruins pants
  * Salmon is the new pink
  * Mr Happy-isn't     Theirs a blog about Mr Happy.  
  * Our shrimp does not come from Lake Desmit!
  * Mice like sprinkles

    Some of the best actual April's Fools jokes I can think of  include:  When Taco Bell said they purchased the Liberty Bell, When they said that to keep up with modern times-Big Ben was being converted to digital.  The War of the Worlds radio broadcast.   Obama was elected president.  *Were the last two in April?  The local huge book store kept posting on Facebook yesterday, how they were selling the store to Barns & Nobel.   People that had even moved out of state, were overly disgruntled.  At the very end of a day the owners posted a picture of themselves holding a sign, saying April Fools!   Google as a company has pulled some great pranks.  Including advertising that there new broadband wires would run through city sewer systems, because they already existed.   They have pulled enough pranks, that one year when a new mail system came out on April 1st---no one believed it was a true service.   But be careful---68% of those surveyed, said that pranks were unsuitable at work.  Those have probably been pranked--big time.  I have been told many times, I joke to others and put them down, because I have very low self esteem.  Not true in the least.  I like to laugh!
      On the bus ride home I kept hearing *from the person several seats behind me* about the benefits of shower beers.   I thought he was pranking all those around him.   But the sure joy and length of his conversation proved otherwise.   His roommate told him he needed a shower beer one day.  And it seems to consist of enjoying at least one while you are taking a shower.  The soap holder can be a great holder for your beer.   All I could picture, was that it would keep filling itself.  Because of the falling water.   And soon be a very watered down beer. 
   The last April first joke I actually pulled, quickly made me single for the good part of two days.  The most important part was that I found it all very amusing!   Many days I look around work or home and quickly realize I am the only one laughing!
     Anyways, when I first started dating someone-she was sure I was going to quickly move on and I would dump her in a bad way.   We had agreed that neither of us could end the relationship with a text or an e mail.   A few months after we started dating, it was April.   We would talk on the phone for hours at night at that point.   I concocted a great four paragraph e mail on the 31st.   Explaining how we had agreed to never break up by e mail, but things were just not working out.  Blah blah blah, paragraph four you had to scroll down too and said April Fools in huge letters.    She never made it to that line.  
   The next thing I knew --I was deleted from all her online friends lists  *when I now truly know I am in the dog house in the back 40 of the yard.   And she would not answer the phone all night.   I had to call her grandma, and have her tell the lady to call me.   That  was the last prank I pulled on her in April of any month.  

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