4/8/11 Do It My Way and Hit the Highway

   

                      **"Gonna do it my way and hit the highway!"**----Mark Hyde


    I randomly post "fun" things to do to pass the time while on the bus.   Maybe because I spend so much time on the city bus.  Today's idea is to start or join conversations in the middle of a sentence.   "......Needs an enema because of eggs in his eyes!"   "You did what to the poor cow!?"   Which makes us stop and wander what the guy was doing to a poor cow when he first learned you could milk a cow and get milk.   I often wander how people discover things like this.   How was it determined that certain plants are edible and even helpful to your health.  When they are mixed in with other plants that could kill you or put you on a twelve day trip, with no vehicle.  Was Lewis and Clark passing the time by asking their guides to taste different plants they found on the trails.   And than recording the results.   "Licking that toad was bad for Lewis Jr-write that down!" 

    This has little to do with riding the bus, although the happiest people on the bus might well be the ones that licked a rare spotted toad while waiting for the bus to arrive.   They are also the most interesting to chat with.   Which brings us to the fact that if the buses were on time more, people would not have time to take drugs at the bus stop.   Another group of people that are always happy on the bus are the mentally challenged I guess one could politely call them.   They are always enjoying just getting out of the house and or straight jacket.  I always wanted to ride the city bus, in a large city, away from were I lived --with a helmet on, with a rear view mirror hanging off the top.   You could do whatever you felt like, and no one would punch you!   One of my past co workers might of proved that theory wrong---He has been punched several times, just for being himself.  

    Soon I will be on the Greyhounnd bus for way to long.   23 thrilling hours to be exact.  I am going back home for the summer, were I have a guaranteed job awaiting.   I was going into Billings Mt but learned that it is the exact same cost some how to bus all the way home --another two hours.   I guess they figure after riding five days on the bus, whats a few more hours.  The company keeps advertising about all of there new buses.  But I have yet to ride on one, or even see one.   We live near the depo and every bus I see go by is from the 1800's!  The new ones would be much better to pass a full day on, with better seats and plug ins by each seat, for computers and such.   That way I could do a blog while traveling, play some games, watch a Netflixs movie or five, etc.  Some how I doubt I will be that lucky.  

    


    So, last Sunday there was a full page ad from Mc Donalds about how all of there meat is 100% real meat.   I just skimmed the ad, and now wish I had read it more thourly or could at least find it again.   But I stand by the thought line, that if it takes a full page to say your meat is real or even fresh---it probably isn't.  Like the signs posted in Taco Bells washrooms, for all workers to wash there hands--or else!--There is a reason the sign is up. 
    If I could find the article again, I am sure I could learn a lot.  I also believe that it would be great fun to ask several Mc Grease Pit managers about there meat.  O.K. not there meat, that conversation might go south very quickly, but about the company's meat.   I doubt I would learn much, but it would be entertaining.  And even in this town, there are so many separate locations to visit and or annoy---write that down!  




Licked to many toads?

    
    Conversations in our house are often strange.  Conversations with me are often strange.   Add in three kids thoughts, and random family members, and or friends and it can get interesting fast.   Lately we learned that people can get mouth herpes.   One word ---ewwww!  My girl friend has for months been informing me of all the diseases you can supposedly get from merly sitting on a public toilet.   These conversations first started while I was in Wyoming, before  I moved back here, and I kept bugging her that she was using that for a cover for whatever disease she acquired while I was away.   And would just say something like "Damn those bathrooms!" If I ever got tested positive for anything deadly and or itchy.   Taking all blame away from her being the carrier, at least in her eyes.  
    After watching Dinner for Shmucks--  the odd ball loser type, that was so good at the role, he was almost painful to watch.   Was told by his cheating wife that he acquired herpes from a city bus seat.   See how I made this blog go full circle topic wise?   Will you be standing up next time you ride a bus?  I can say, that even before thinking about any of this, I never use the restroom in the back of the Grayhound.   They stop enough, that one can do the potty dance till a real stop.  Not that many stations are a whole lot safer as a hole.  I made the mistake of sitting in the back of the bus for awhile on one trip.   The door would not shut all the way, and blue liquid was sloshing down the isle.   Also their was an odd smell coming out of the bathroom, some mutant mixture of pee, poo, pot, and other bad P words!   I figure with this thought line, if I fly here again after the summer.   My girl friends new "cover" will be what terrible and or thrilling diseases one can get from an airline seat. 
    In closing, have fun standing up next time you ride the city bus or are on an airplane.   Do not even think about what you can catch from that real meat at the local drive through!  I am also saying in no way that I think my girlfriend has anything, or will.   It is a  joke we both keep going.  No worries.  If you are one of the many who also live on Facebook  and have to much free time to make my life more of a hell than to work on fixing your own lives.  If any of that sounds true--don't contact her and twist whats in here.  She knows how to read, last time I checked.