Saturday, December 31, 2011

Good Bye 2011

                                    **"I can start using my new calender tomorrow!"**----

  Yes I am easily amused, but the dam thing has been laying around my room for the last month.   And unless I want to figure out how many days till next Christmas, in an attempt I already  know will fail to shop early, it has not been a very useful gift so far.  

    I am trying to recall what I did last New Years.  I know I was in Washington state, and I was watching fireworks over the Space Needle on TV.   They shoot them off the top of the building.  The whole area is filled with very happy, very cold, very tipsy spectators.   The top of the Needle, as those of us in the IN call it, or those of us that are lazy typers type---becomes a VIP lounge for partiers.   This is much more enjoyable to watch than the Dick Clark Rockin Bopin Non Stopin special.   *May not be the official name of the special.   Although you can enjoy watching the ball drop several different times if you have cable TV.   Dick Clark is scary now!   That is the cliff notes of this paragraph.   I really can not recall anything else from that night, and for once it was not from drinking to much.  

   The best New Years I can recall was in Portland Oregon.   A place I hate and call Potland for more than one reason.   Maybe best is the wrong word.  But I will never forget this year.  It was 2000 and my roomie and I made the trip to party it up!   That year the city decided to not offer free fire works.  People instantly went in a huge panic and started to protest.  Oregon people, if nothing else know how to protest.  If they put there bongs down long enough to decide to join the cause.   Residents did not put down there bongs long enough to realize that there were still going to be fire works, and they could still be viewed for free, out of the viewing area, by looking up!  
    Riots soon broke out through the entire city.   We witnessed a nice group of young people, trying to tip over a police car near the city center.   The same young people soon became very familiar with the car owners police batons.   Riot cops started to enter the area and we decided it was past time to exit the area.   On the opposite side of town we were trying to enter a very busy bar.  Is there anything but busy bars on New Years?   We had been watching rioters for quite awhile, and were getting parched.  But our thirst was not going to be fixed soon.  Just as we were crossing the street to the bar four men decided to argue with the bouncers of the bar.   The men were very drunk, and very small compared to the bouncers.  The bouncers reminded the men of this, by tossing them into the street, head first.   Before we could enjoy the fight or enter the bar, a line of riot police showed up and blocked off the area.   Not letting anyone else in the bar.   At  some point the police found a need to pepper spray the entire area.    I will say this was the first time I got pepper sprayed.   I wont say it was the last. 
     It was getting very near midnight.  And it is not very manly to be crying or yelling "Theres pepper in my eye!" And no, there is not a pill for that!  So we took off in an almost blind, disturbingly sober search for another bar to yell the New Years countdown in.   Several blocks down we found an Irish pub.   We grabbed some brews and enjoyed not one, but 12 separate count downs to the new year.  Because non of the drinkers had bothered to coordinate there watches.  

       I pause very quickly, against my better judgement to explain the 2nd time I was pepper sprayed.  More accurately I sprayed myself.   While living in Oregon, I got every kind of driving ticket there is.  My biggest "accomplishment" being a speeding ticket, while I was parked.   As I argued in court over the BS ticket, I some how called the judge a jackass *in a little nicer termage* and got contempt of court and double the fine.   BUT I learned what contempt of court meant!   See, I try to learn something every day.  And than pass on the learning to my 2.5 readers.   The only dumberer comment in all my dealings with police, involved asking a motorcycle cop whom had pulled me over for not wearing my seat belt, were his seat belt was.  I list all of my best cop experiences in a past blog, and I was even surprised how many I have had.   Anyways, you stray from the topic.  After most of my visits with police, I was rewarded with a ticket of some kind.   At one point to lower all my fines, I joined the road crew.  One day as we were putting all our tools back on the work trailer, I was very near a sheriff.  And some how hit the can of pepper spray on his belt.   It shot straight up in both of our faces.  After the cop realized it was a mistake, and he put away his gun, we all had a good laugh.   And I needed to wash both my eyes out  and my underwear!

    I think the next best New Years I can recall was in Washington state.   A great gal and I had spent the night out.   At some point in the night, we both tried out luck at being single.  And I ended up with the most phone numbers some how.  But it was a win/lose because I got hit on by an exact equal number of guys and girls.  I lived at the top of a very steep hill, and it had rained that night.   Between high heels, rain, and lots of beverages it took us about 45 minutes to get up that stupid hill.  I really can not disclose much more about that night, but can say that it will forever stick in my memory banks as a great New Years.   With free fire works in my apartment.  

         I stop to ponder---  can one use the pharmacy drive through at Wal-Greens to pick up cigarettes, if you claim they are your medication?  

     So in closing I heard today that 2012 does not bring the end of the world.  Just the end of the world as we know it.   A huge group of aliens is going to visit the planet.  And try to revel to us that we have been worshiping a false God for years!   They will enslave us and become our new rulers and Gods.  I think they were from that newly discovered planet, that is said to be 100 percent possible to be inhabited.   Word is there are already three Star Bucks on the planet!   Since I now look like a Mormon at work, I did not really listen to the above story of our future, so am not sure how accurate my accounts are.   I can accurately state that if you are a real Mormons, you should not watch South Parks version of how the book of Mormon came about!   I can also say that I will be around wishing you a happy 2013 in some lame sauce blog! 

Friday, December 30, 2011


    As we inch closer to the end of the year, and maybe the end of the world, I have to admit I have been wasting a lot of time lately.   Not with boring things like sleep.  That is overrated.  And lately sleep is only a dream for me.  I am overly tired as I drag through the day, and no it's not all old age making me so tired.   And than once I give up, and my head hits the pillow.  My mind goes into over-drive and I over think everything.   The next thing I know it is 3 in the morning.  Those of you that know me well, would first reply, that I would have to have a mind, for the above sentence to hold true.  In response I say   "Faaaaaaaa!"  And "No brains   No headaches!"   Both equally as deep.  

     Those that know me well, or read any of these blogs know all to well that I have plenty of time to ponder things.   My rambling in speech and in writing even amazes me some days.   Mainly on here, because I can quickly turn a plank page into an all out rage about lemons in about  a paragraph.  Today I happen to like lemons, so we are all safe.   I am not random, my mind just processes things much faster than yours!
    I also realize that I will be having a very boring New Years weekend this year.  I have to be at work at 7 AM Saturday and Sunday morning.   My only entertainment might be, making fun of the still hungover customers just trying to fill up on lots of food.  

    I like to say that I am not a jealous person, but I am pretty sure, even if for a brief period of time, I was jealous of a gay guy yesterday.   Not because he was gay.   But because he gets to hang out with a beautiful lady, and I did not know he was gay at the time.   I am still not sure he knows he is gay.  Have you ever meet people that have not come out of the closet yet?   They just really need someone to push them out, and than hand them some lube.  Or whatever is a customary gift for that. 
    For awhile many of my posts had at least a paragraph about gay people.   While I don't object to this lifestyle or occupation, I find it disturbing, how much the lifestyle is now pushed on everyone.  On television and such, it is more than accepted, almost portraying it as the norm.   Maybe it's just me that feels that way?   Anyways, I have shared this story before, but I like it, and it takes up space...   My friend was complaining at work about a recent gay pride parade that took over the streets were he lives.   First off it was on Fathers day.  Which doesn't even make sense in his eyes, because well no matter how many times they  try, they aren't making any babies and can't be fathers.   Than he decided that the town should have a parade for straight people.  Not gay haters or bashers, just people that were proud of being straight.   And there parade route would have no turns or corners, but go straight the whole way.   I think that is highly amusing, but most of the people in his break room did not seem to think so.  

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Some Christmas Thoughts

                                 **"It looks like Toys R Us Yaked up in my living room!"**

    **"This fat guy breaks into our houses, eats our cookies, leaves lots of coal.  It's a good thing he also leaves some great presents!"**

   For whatever reasons --this year it did not really seem like Christmas at all.   I have heard the same things from a lot of people this year.   Although we did have snow on the ground, which helped.  I was again one of those last minute shoppers.   In fact, I still think I have someone to shop for.  But it turned into an all around good year this year.   I worked on Christmas Eve.  And it was amazingly slow at work.   Than went over to my parents house for some pizza.   We than went to a great church service.  That I have to say, put me in the true holiday mood.   Christmas day was beyond crazy at work.  We ended up with only three servers, and ran all day.   But the tips were good.   That night I went back to my parents and we looked at lights around town.    Not that many up at all this year I must say. 

**"Poinsettias are the herpes of Xmas. They're red, they're everywhere, & if someone gives 'em to you, it's the shittiest gift ever!"**-------
                   Makes me really re-think  all that fruit cake I sent out this year.....
                                      More sheep for my collection!    I have over 20 now.  
 **"Sorry Facebook, but in a small town Wally World is the bestest social network around."**---
                                    This is especially true during the holiday season!  

            **"You'll shoot your eye out!" Best part of Christmas Eve? 24 hrs of A Christmas Story."**---
    I worked with a Ralphie for awhile.  We used to yell "you'll shoot your eye out!" to him all the time.  He was our boss, so his code name being "Butterball" might not have been the best idea.  But he looked a lot like a frozen turkey.  And managed like one too!   Anyways, at one point my buddy transferred to another Wally World, and  would call our store around Thanksgiving asking for Ralphie.  He than would ask the going price on Butterball turkeys per pound.    Second best holiday movie--- National Lampon's Christmas Vacation!    The worse part of the season may very well be, all of the Christmas music.  And I like the music.  Just not so much when it starts playing in October.   Plus living in the sticks, brings the country twang Christmas music, and I don't think much is worse than that, except for my singing for sure.   Which is so high pitched, dogs can't even hear it!   At Wally World, starting on Christmas Eve,they played 24 hrs straight of Jingle Bells.  Every version out there, from cats meowing it--to Christmas bells.   So great--minus the great!
**"Going to church helped put me back in the spirit tonight. Have a great Christmas everyone!"**---
**"Wally World is full of last minute shoppers that vow to cut back on the stress next year, and start shopping on the 22nd of December!"**---
**"Today was beyond crazy at work. Non stop customers with three servers. but i like the tips!"**---

    **"Y is it Christmas night, and I have the "humping" song by the Blood Hound Gang stuck in my head?"**

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

12/21 Is A Palandrome

  **"Poinsettias are the herpes of Xmas. They're red, they're everywhere, & if someone gives 'em to you, it's the shittiest gift ever!"**
                                   Dam--whats that say about fruit cake?

    **"With 11 days left till the end of the world feel free to indulge this holiday weekend!"**---Me

     Is it wrong that at my work place, we now have a count down of how many daze until Christmas and another for how many days till the end of the world?   We have already survived two supposed end of the world dates this year, so good luck to you and yours on the 31st when all the power grids shut down and computers can't update themselves leaving planes to fall out of the sky... wait that was Y2K.   Screw it, in the words of Tim Mcgraw--"Just live like you were dyin!"    
     For whatever reason, or in my case mixture of reasons, it does not seem like Christmas time at all right now.  I look at my posts from last year at this time, and I was so ready for the holidays and family time.  This year, I can't even get myself motivated enough to get all of my shopping done.   One plus, enhanced today, is that we will have a white Christmas for sure.  I bought some great kids I know a package of grow your own snow.  Because it is very likely to be a soggy yet non white year again in Washington state.  This packet is kind of like the little sponges that grow in water.  And you end up with 12 ounces of snow!   I am surprised how many times the small package warns the users not to eat the snow.   I thought only yellow snow could be dangerous to your health.

   **"Today just keeps getting better. Woke up to an amazing message. Super great cust gave me 50 bucks. Its pasta bar day at work. Boss made fudge. Two workers quit and it's snowing!"**

                 **"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity."**--- Edgar Allen Poe

   This one kind of speaks for itself.  As to most of this great mans quotes.   Which makes one wander if he ever said anything crappy?   People in history amaze me. Ben Franklin had 100 patients in his name. Past presidents, etc etc---now presidents get bj's in the oval office and people quote the long dead.   I have talked about this before, but mainly blame Google.  Wait I don't think I can pin this one on Google.  I do strongly believe that we are getting dumbed down as a nation.  Because ignorant people do not ask questions and go along with the masses.   Schools are starting to look like jails.  And going toward school uniforms at early ages all the time.  I have talked about all this in other blogs.  But will bring up the school uniforms again briefly here.   In one school in Arizona the official officials wanted to introduce a dress code at the elementary levels.   They said that if every child dressed the same, the kids from wealthy families would look the same as those from poor families.   The same officials soon introduced five diffrent school shirts.  Each costing a little more than the other.  So the wealthy kids got the $100 shirts from JC Pennys and low class got there shirts at Goodwill or the Bargain bin at Wally World.  Many conversations about this, did not clarify things in my eyes somehow.   But if all this makes sense to you, you might be a school official,  or recent elementary school graduate. 

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

11/11/11--OK Thats NOT Todays Date, I Just Never Got To Write It!

  **"When people first meet me, they think I’m quiet. People who have known me for a long time wish I was."**

    So, after months of walking every were.  This grows worse with winter time.  I enjoy a great hike any time, or a jog.  But never have enjoyed walking in the least.  Although the more I walk, the more time I have to think of ways to get out of walking next time.  One such concept is to go to a place like Pizza Hut, order a pizza, and than pay the driver to allow me to ride with the pizza to my home.   It has to be cheaper than a taxi, right?    Taxis are expensive in this small town.   It is about $12 to ride any were in town.  And you usually have to wait about an hour for a taxi.  Were do they park them, in Dayton?  I only ask, because you can walk across town in an hour or less.

    I ended up back at the Doctor last Thursday for my check up.   I really am not feeling any better, and it has been about two months of this "fun."   I can say that un-like last time, the entire waiting room wasn't calling me Bobble Head.   Although I heard it at work a few nights back.  A customer came in with her child, and called me to the table as Bobble.   The child yelled Bobble!  for the remaining of the eating adventure.  Anyways, back to the dr's office, my your mind wanders!   In fact this visit I almost got away with only being called Steven.   Almost is the key word.  Just as the nurse was closing the examining room door, another nurse walked in, shook my hand, and told me how great it was to see Bobble Head again.   Again I must emphasize how I have no idea why anyone calls me this.....  But the name has followed me around for a good seven years now.  
     It was soon decided that my last round of pills was not helping me at all.  And I and the DR went over all the test and pills and such I have been taking.   He asked me a ton of questions.  And poked and prodded.   Than he paused and looked at me.   Soon saying "You have been sick for a long time, what the hell is wrong with you!?"   I just started laughing because I was not aware that it was self diagnose day at the office.   

        Even with such advances in medicine as described above, I have learned not to use Internet sights like Web MD.  Because after you put in your symptoms, you are ready to write out your own will!   5 possibilities of what you might have pop up, and the first one always seems to be that you are  pregnant.  Even if you are a male.  The next two are off the wall diseases that you probably don't have unless you go around licking public toilet seats.      And the last two are full blown out, you have 3 days to live, bad-ass diseases.   The last two is what you instantly start worrying about, and noticing you have all the symptoms of.   Cliff notes, no matter how poor you are, or how bad your current doctor is.  Do not use this web sight.  The same can be said about going to my blog website.  One I would recommend today instead is The   Full of funny, and valuable tests to take.  Like to see if you are addicted to Facebook.   Which amazingly, I am!  

  Tonight my pictures really have nothing to do with any of the topics.  But as always if I am amused, that's all that really matters.   I braved the cold for a little bit the other day, and will have some new pictures up on here soon.  For the most part, I just got cold and re-discovered there is not much within walking distance, that I have not already got lots of pictures of here.   And my next blog will be a little more "meaty"    Thanks as always for taking the time to read.  And please leave feedback!    Good or bad, it all helps me improve for all two of my readers!  

Monday, December 19, 2011

A New Post---Wahoo!!


                                        **"Sadly, my day requires pants!"**-----Snowflake
   For whatever reason, I ended up opening at work a few days back, and I was sitting on the toilet scrolling through Facebook.   When I saw the above status, I about fell off the toilet laughing.  Maybe not so much because it is amusing, which it is, but because it was 4:30 in the morning.   Things are much funnier the earlier in the AM it is somehow.  

                   **"If this phone is so smart, how come it keeps letting me call you? "**-----
   I have talked about "smart phones" before.   And how I really don't have a desire for a device much smarter than myself.  I just want something that will act like a phone.  Not dial the wrong number automatically twelve times and than allow everyone from Sprint to Santa to track my location on the globe. 

                        **"Random Fact: It takes a giraffe 35 min. to puke."**

                                 **"Why do I never get memos? And why is Tracy fighting her name sake??"**----
    So about a week ago, I got a random text from a co-worker simply saying that another gal at work, "Houston" we will call her, hated to be called Tracy.   I am usually not sure what texts to me are about, and just went with it.   Starting to call Houston --Tracy for 24 hours.   At the work Christmas party, others got involved in the "fun" and the girl even answered to Tracy, when we yelled it across the room.   That night to continue the fun, I had everyone on my calling list, text her, and say something like "whats up Tracy?"   Long story short, she wasn't as amused as I was.   I do find it overly amusing that after texting my friends to leave the above text, and I would explain why later, most of them complied. 

                                     Me opening yet another box of coal!   Kingman, Arizona
   .Speaking of texting---a sight I like off of Facebook  is called texts from last night.   People send in actual texts from there cell phones, only including the area code and the text.  Most seem to deal with booze, and they are a good laugh for the most part.    Below is an example. 

‎(914): We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
   **"I am feeling extra froggy this weeksend! I appoligize in advance to my co workers!! On a side note, I think I am going to pick random friends on FB

                       Woman Caught Making Meth Inside Walmart | Tosh.0 Blog
               Hey, it's one of the first rules of business: You gotta go where your customers are...
                                **Yet another reason to shop at Wally World!-----lol

     **"Christmas shopping started and almost finished today! Just need a little help from Santa and the post office now."**---Me---
    I really can't stand shopping in small towns.  Here we basically have K-Mart and Wally World.  So you really do join the masses when you go out to shop.  Especially the longer you wait.   I greatly knocked down my shopping list the other day.  And managed to do it rather quickly, if I do say so myself.   Last year was great.  Someone did most of my shopping for me, and every time I called that great person, more things could be crossed off my shopping list!   I can pick great gifts, it just takes me a lot of time, and I am a guy last time I checked, so the odds are already stacked against me. 
    These groups of people going around the country and paying off shoppers lay aways, have the Christmas spirit for sure!   Someone walked into the K-Mart here last week, and payed off $1000 worth of peoples layaway.   It of course made front page news here.  Not as big a deal, when the local paper is only three pages big.   They had some critia to there pay offs, so only paid about 80 percent of the stores  lay aways off.   Only, that's still a lot!   I believe the worst part would be reading this news in the paper, than running down to the store to see if your layaways were all paid in full, and than finding you were part of the 20 percent that didn't get paid off.   *Sad face!
     These stories are always the best, of true good spirits.  As you wonder the isles looking for some cheesy gift, that says you are not cheap and you really do love the person you are shopping for.  Or mainly that they bought you something, and you had to say that there gift was sitting at home not wrapped yet.  It's really sitting on the shelf of the store, still waiting to be bought.   But from the news, I see more gloom and doom for the economy with the start of the new year.   People are already bringing back returns in record amounts, and it is still December, in case you haven't looked at your calenders lately.  Customers are deciding they have over shopped, and feeling buyers remorse.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I'm not positive your wrong, I am HIV Postive your Wrong!!

    **"How did I end up in a senior center?  Wait I'm just at Wal-Greens."**---Special Ed Smurf

    In this town the above statement can apply easily almost anywhere you shop.   The above persons name, may or may not be there real name.   One of my friends now calls me Smurfy Mcsmurfington the 3rd.  An upgrade? from Papa Smurf.  Which makes me wonder a few things---- Y?   Who are the first two Smurfys.   How good is the smurf movie--and is it in 3-D like everything seems to be right now.  And lastly, if you were to choke a smurf, would it turn purple?   I have been threatening to do an entire post about "code names" and one really is coming soon.   At one Wally World I had a two paged list of peoples code names through the store, and I think it bugged me more when I lost that list, than when I lost my box of un replaceable pictures.   Of course both were un replaceable I guess.   People at my current job, seem very depressed when they do not have a nick name.   And at least one day worker is more than ready for a master list of the names, so she will know who the hell I am talking about, in most of my stories.   She is also the one that thinks with the new work uniforms, that I look overly like a Mormon.  We have crisp white shirts, with ties.  And I just feel like I need a briefcase to complete the outfit.   Maybe printing out some pamlets about my own ideas of the word would be in order?   I could have different ones for different customers.   One with just a face shot of me, and my phone number in it, for the cute customers.   I am in no way making fun of Mormons here.   I know a lot of them, and have great respect for them and there beliefs.  I just think I would prefer looking more like maybe a stripper at work, at least the tips would be better.  Customers would pay me to put my clothes back on!   If you are an attractive female, or my above thoughts do offend you, my personal phone number is 2.

                                          See the movement is already catchin' on, yo!

                           **"My computer is on crack tonight---and it won't share!"**

  This blog has takin longer to type up than most, because my computer does not want to cooperate, for sure.  I have had it for two years, and could possibly blame something that is slowing it down, caused while downloading porn.   But wont.   Last month I somehow downloaded a virus protector that is a virus.  And it has been causing problems ever since.  My landlord also changed our wi fi provider, and it is beyond slow.   When I can get on Facebook, change my status, check my Yahoo mail, and get off my cell phone in less time than it takes my computer to get on the Internet, there might be a small problem.  

     **"It got near 37 outside today.  After the last week, that's a heat wave!  Time to break out my shorts!!"**

 Not to much to add to the above.   I have been bitchin' about the cold for the last week on here.  If you haven't read about it or heard about it from me, consider yourself lucky!

   So, I tend not to share about work on here to much mostly because I am never sure who reads my blogs, and I would like to keep my job.   I have had some bad experiences in the past, finding out the hard way that more people read my rambling than I had thought.   I try to keep everyone on there toes at work.  And have a great time doing it.  Although many a time, I notice others are not amused.   I often also notice, that when I glance around, I am the only one laughing.  This is true in most aspects of my life from work to dating life.   But at least I am entertained!   My day time co-workers are much more on top of things  work wise, and at throwing the wise cracks back in my face.  
   Two examples I will share real quickly from the last week.   I guess if you are a slow reader, I  will not share them that quickly, really.   About a week ago I noticed a co-worker was posting about work on her Facebook page.  Knowing that our main boss was one of her friends, I mentioned something about this.  I love to "take over" peoples statusus, and have noticed that my conversations seem to go south amazingly quickly.  I guess when your mind lives so close to the gutter, it goes there fast?  I kept things clean, because of the main boss this time though.  Anyways at one point my boss and I were the only two having a conversation on the posts.  And I explained Wally World management 101 to her----If you are going to fire someone make sure and do it on a Friday, because they have the now free weekend to look forward to, and will be happy!   If you fire them on a Monday or the middle of the week, they will be way more angered, and could come back and go postal on the managers.   You learn a lot at Wally World in general, but especially in manager training.   Anyways, the manager than thanked me, and said how she would use this new info if show would ever have the need to fire me!   As always, I was just glad to help.
   A few days after that, I was explaining to the day crew  how when I transferred from Wally World to Wally World, I would go around to the many co-workers that didn't especially like me, and ask them for gas money, so I could leave even sooner!  At the end of this story, I looked around and noticed my manager ducking into her office.   She came back with a $50 bill and held it in front of me.   I can feel the love at work, every day!

                             A true smart ass----notice the picture does not show me~!

    I would never call myself the brightest crayon in the box.  In fact my ex had a special shirt just for me saying "you can't fix stupid."  And I often wish I could wear my helmet to work.   I also used to spell special different every time I typed it in at work.  Which made me extra special, or a Big Horn High student.   But I always love to meet new and interesting people!   Especially if they could be called Blondy--and are not blond.   We have a server now named Blondy at work, and people often ask me why shes called that, with brown hair.   I simply tell them to talk with her for just a little bit, and they will understand.   She really is a great person, but better yet is her constant entertainment.  I believe the last Revelation was that she had been spelling hamster, with a p all her life.  And was sure that it was hampster.   I guess that furry creature stayed with the laundry and protected it while in your laundry hampster?   The best was when we at work, had her convinced that the kids coloring sheet had a hidden animal picture in it.   She carried the dam place mat around with her all weekend trying to find the picture.  And even took it home with her to have her parents help in the search.   Long story short, there was no hidden animal.   I also realize that the above is not how anyone spells blondie, but find it much more interesting to spell that word wrong   At least I don't add a P to it right?   

     Anyways, I have this sudden urge to meet my friends neighbor now.  And I can't wait till I do.  I think I will learn O so much talking to her.  And be able to fill a blog, just with pure gems like these.  Or maybe I just need to meet  her parents because they must both be college professors.   Just lately she was talking to my friend about were her kids were born.   Her daughter was born in New Mexico.  And the neighbor, we will call her Gretta, because that is fun to type seemed instantly shocked.   Wondering how my friend got her baby smuggled across the boarder, and if all the paperwork was filled out right so that she wasn't staring at an illegal allian.  
   Before this all happened, and after everyone involved broke out the US state map book.   The same neighbor went over to my friends and explained that she had HPV but that her doctor assured her it wasn't sexual transmitted.   Again I would instantly wonder a few things.  One: who is her doctor, so I could never go to them.  Two: How does she think she got the STD?   And B: In who's world is this even a conversation starter or ender?     I have often thought you could get just about anything from a toilet seat on the greyhound bus.   And since the bus stops every two freaking hours, will do the pee pee dance, to avoid not having to use the restrooms on the bus.  I have even written about these thoughts in a past blog.   Etched further in my mind, by my ex's past contious warnings about diseases one could pick up from a public restroom.   Mostly causing me to wander what she in fact had, and wanted to blame on me using the bathroom at the ball park, until I found she was getting all of these facts from pamphlets from her oldest sons sex ed classes.  
    In conclusion to all this, yes finally, I will be respectful when I meet this person.  I will keep from laughing so that the conversation will continue as long as possible.  I will also fill a notebook in notes. 


   **"Is there something in the air besides snow and Christmas?  Because everyone is overly pissy!  Everyone besides me.  Maybe it's just me that's making them that way?"**

  In case your Christmas calender is not working, the holiday season, and year for that matter are almost up.   If you are like me, and the only calender you have, is from your bank--for next year.   The count down is even harder for you.   Either way, it is way to late to start good deeds now, to fool Santa and compensate for the past year of dastardly deeds. 
   I had before thought that only the "Crabby Patties" came out in full force when you worked in retail.  The closer Christmas gets, the less spirit the customers have.  Until long about Dec. 22nd, you find yourself surrounded by angry mobs of shoppers all wanting your last box of tinsel and even to buy fruit cakes, if nothing else is on the shelves.   But it seems to apply to about any job dealing with the public.  The diner family has been shopping all day and just wants to sit in your booth, and yell.   The guy in checkout 12  wants to throw his holiday basket of apples at the lady writing a check ahead of him.   I want to do that to any check writer, any time of year., so bad example I guess. 
    I guess what all of this means, is we should start shopping way sooner in the year.   But it can be very depressing buying gifts for uncle Sam, who used to be aunt Samantha, when the back to school sales start.  Plus what fun is it really, if the shoppers aren't all out in masses?

                                  **"Why does free food always taste betterer?"**

  So last night I ended up at the Holiday Inn for a free dinner.  And I have to say it was great.  Although it is a little strange to have workers dishing out all your food.  Maybe because in a buffett setting, I like to grab my own food.  Or simply because I am so used to serving food to others.   Supposedly this feed started out as a free dinner for the needy, but expanded greatly.   And I noticed the donation basket was very full when we went through the line.  Maybe not as much after we went through the line...   OK, I kid!   In fact a co-worker seemed appalled that I had even went.  But as I looked around at the tables, I saw all kinds of regular customers that enjoyed the restaurant I worked in all the time.   One owned several shops in town.  Another has a huge ranch.   They were enjoyin a night with friends, and hopefully meeting some new ones.  And I bet they added generously to the donation basket before enjoying such a great meal.   After a great meal, we collected a heavy bag of food and took them to a needy person we know.   Pass it forward.   And Faaaaa on you, that think I was stealing from the hungry!

    **"The radio said it was up to -0 earlier. Is neg zero colder than 0?? Damn global warming!!"**

    I believe I also wandered the same thing, when the Arbys digital thermometer registered a bone chilling -186 outside!   Yet another thing I wish I could find the picture of.  
But it is defiantly looking and feeling a lot like Christmas time around here.   With the temps and actual white stuff all over the ground.   Because of the radio weather reports, every five minutes, I now know that that white stuff is called snow!   Living in Arizona for so long, I kind had forgotten what it was.  Although it did get cold there in the winter at night time.    Cold considering we were used to 180 in the shade during the summer.   I know one year I witnessed snow in Vegas, and I was sure that the end of the world would happen way before 2012.

  So I was just reading about a planet just discovered that has all the right conditions to have beings on it.   Considering the massive odds and infinite solar systems and such, it was just a matter of time.  But I really did not think I would ever witness that kind of a find.   Not witness, but be alive for.  I do not think I could survive even space camp, because watching the rides from the ground, bugs me at carnivals.  

   Once again today, I ended up at work on one of my daze off.  OK days off work, I will clarify, because many would argue that I am always at least a little bit off.  Although I was with good company today, it seems like I wander to work maybe a little to much when I am not working.  Last week I ended up eating there on both of my days off.   Maybe it is because my cooking skills are close to non existent.  Maybe it is because of some of the attractive servers.   In the summer time I was always there working.   Which is better because you are getting paid to be there.  I got enough overtime during the summer, that I lost getting food stamps from the state.   Which is amusing because as a server in the backwoods state of Wyoming, even on overtime you make exactly $4.50 an hour.  Like wow!

                            **"The more you leave, the less you have to lose."**

    In all my moves, I have defiantly noticed that if you move all the time, even with three kids, you do not accumulate near as much stuff.  I will get back to you on if this is a good thing or not.  When I moved last from Washington state to Wyoming, with my tail between my legs, and  a huge disgruntled chip on my shoulder--I was on the bus with only my suitcase and a backpack.   It was easy traveling.  But now while doing a quick inventory of the few belongings with me, it  is more than a little depressing.  I have a really good buddy that moves all the time.  And he gets rid anything that will not fit in his pickup when he does move.   Things are just things, but I still enjoy having a few belongings I can call my own. 
   This all said  I love a good road trip.  They are amazingly calming.   This was the first summer in a long time I could not take a road trip.  And I think my soul is greatly suffering as a result.   My blogs are also, because I don't have any awesome adventures while on the road.  Every trip I have been on had great adventures in the day, and relaxing  nights in a local motel 6.   My ex trys to count my bus trip as a road trip.  But it was not calming in any way or enjoyable what so ever.  So I can not count it. 
    I hope to take a long adventure this spring.  It will be cross country by far.  A great addition to this blog  in writing and pictures.   And turn into a job hunting trip. 



Sunday, December 4, 2011


      I am also easily entertained.  Although it is usually shiny objects that distract me.   I blame this all on growing up in Wyoming.   A big but boring and densely populated state. 

    **"Hey girl with 20,000 tweets and 14 followers, I'm guessing you should probably shut up!"**

     It took me a long time to convert to using Facebook, and now I often feel that I need an intervention from the sight.   I am always amazed how many people read my mindless status postings.  Most do not respond, but when I see them around town, they mention a post from weeks ago.  I have a lot of posts, and now attempt to keep them upbeat and as entertaining as possible.  At least what I call entertaining.   People seem to take posts to the extreme and tell everyone every move they make.  These people should stick with Twitter.  A sight I have never had the urge to join or visit.   Telling the world how many customers I have each hour or how many squares of TP it took me to use after using the restroom, is putting me to sleep just writing it down.  

              **"Reading popular baby names. Once again, Adolf is nowhere to be found."**

    I have learned through the years when a gal comes up to you and says "Guess what!?"  not to automatically guess that they are pregnant.  Wait till at lest your third or fourth guess, to guess this.  This rule seems to apply if you know the lady well or not.   Really applies if you are dating the gal.  

          **"Judging by his physique, I'd guess Popeye's a pretty accomplished masturbator."**
                                                                Watch that first step!

        **"You think you've got problems? I dropped my cocaine in the snow this morning."**

            **"I always want to be friends with the people that need shopping carts at the liquor store. I bet those people are fun."**

  **"Restrooms now have auto flushes, taps, hand dryers. But isn't it silly that you cancel all that by touching the door handle on your way out?"**

                     **"Vegetarians must hate themselves because they're made of meat."**

                                           **"Nothing Burps better than bacon!"**