Elvis Has Left The Building!

    **"People say that things happen for a reason. So when I hit you up side the head, remember I had a reason."**

    **"Today, I broke my record for the number of days I haven't died. I plan on breaking it again tomorrow."**

Party like a rock star!

Jeff Dunham-----

**WALTER: "Captain America opens this week... Who’s his enemy, Captain Mexico? ..Cuz he keeps trying to sneak in to take Captain America’s job."**

    **"What the heck, didn't that guy overdose? And here he is with you.... are you dead?"**----
   This was posted on my Facebook page, and originally stumped the crap out of me, for about two hrs.   Than I recalled that my profile picture right now, shows me and Elvis standing side by side.  He is alive a kicking all over Vegas!   And although I wish this was a current photo, at one point I lived very near the town, and had some great times.  Most do not necessarily need to stay in Vegas.

   Every time I would walk around Wally World in the dumps a wise old door greater would point at me and say "Do you care?" I'd recall it was all only mindless crap beating me down --and soon be in a better mood!  This same worker was also the "rain man" of zip codes.  Give him any zip code, and he could tell you what town it was in.  Ask him about a Wally World product of policy, and it was 50 50 if he knew the answer.

   
    At the same *Euegene OR store--another door greater handed me a rock on my birthday one year. Saying it was a "sex rock" "you know what a sex rock is right" she asked? "Y it's just another F*cking rock! O I could fill books about the wisdom found there.   I mention this, because it just happens to be my birthday.   And am happy? to say that even though I might or might not be turning 33, I got carded at the bar last night.  I have mentioned before how "interesting" verging on scary it is that every sight you log onto on your birthday, knows it's your speciel day!   For the most part I kind of find it creepy.   Although the birthday reminder for others, has saved me many a time!    I am already deciding this year, that it is kind of fun to read the warm wishes from people you really don't know well at all.   And find them kind of as heartfelt and mushy as that card you got from your insurence agent two months before your birthday!
     I get to close at work this year!   But with my birthday falling on a Sunday, not to many thrilling other options are out there.   Some how last year found me at work on my birthday also.   Topped off with a nice peice of choclate cake stuffed in my face.   It took a long while to get all of the frosting out of my long nose hairs.    How come already hair is growing in all the wrong areas?   I have what I call leg sweaters, I have so much extra hair on my legs.   But am going bald on my head, and have like three chest hairs!

     So I learned a few things at work this week.   The first is --I am a much happier worker when the tips are awsome!   Last night I learned that a few of my remaining co-workers really are awsome.  And they can consider the drinks they bought as my birthday present.   See I really am easy to shop for!     I learned that whip cream is extreamly entertaining.   And overly hard to get out of those little holes in the ear peice of a phone.   I get bored easily and call the sacks of whip cream we have for desserts and such,  my cream sack.   Mostly to see workers reactions while they are holding the bags and I yell, put down my cream sack!    Again another time when I look around and see I am the only one laughing.
    Others learned that if they start flicking the wrong crap, I have much more ammo and practice and will finish it.   This usually ends badly for me, very suddenly after I accomplish my goal.   And did once again this time.   I also learned that I need to take a refresher course in CPR.   I will not go into details of this, and will say that no ambulences were invovled, thanks to a very alart customer.   But sadly my last course was in high school.   And if Karma really is out there, I might need to use the buddy system while eating anything for the next few weeks.  
    

I'll Show You Mine If You Show Me Yours--Top Ten List

                                             **You put the F U in Fun!"**

    **"Has been sitting on this fence trying to decide which side is greener and the only conclusion I have made is this fence is hard and it makes my butt hurt."**


   **"An old Cherokee told his grandson, "My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, & ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, & truth." The boy thought about it, and asked, "Grandfather, which wolf wins?" The old man quietly replied, "The one you feed."**


    A great boss recently asked me--  with the advancement of digital cameras --if there really is such a thing as a bad photographer.   Beyond being able to point and click with even the simplest cameras.  The better ones fix your photos for you or make them better very simply.   This is all true, but one still has to have an eye to what is beautiful.   Everyone has a different concept.  But some things are just truly beautiful no matter what.   I used to think I had some very good pictures, but than I started looking at some true artists online.   My high school librarian and track coach *Mr Roberts, has become a great.   I sat by him at a great friends wedding last month--partly to catch up, partly because I didn't really know anyone at the celebration, and partly because he was taking the pictures at the wedding, and I could sneak looks at the awesome pictures.   You can see much of his work, on Facebook, while you are roaming some of my pictures.   Another local great, who used to live next door to me,  way back when----check it out at    deerungraphics.com

    Just recently a man was killed in Yellowstone Park by a bear.   His wife was injured, but played dead and made it out alive.  Luckily this bear was spared, because officials said she was just acting like a bear and protecting her cubs.   This couple just seemed to be out enjoying the outdoors, and truly at the wrong place at the wrong time.   But so many times, especially in the park, people are being beyond stupid around wildlife, and the animals pay the price.   Trying to put your son on a buffalo to get an awesome picture, trying to pet or feed animals that shouldn't be approached.   I do not understand this concept.   I have never seen a tiger up close, but at the same time, if I ever took a voyage through Africa, I would not try a pet any sad looking tigers I saw.  
     A long time ago, when I was still in high school.   We had an exchange student with like 12 symbols in his name.   We called him Joe for short.   One day we ended up in the mountains with him.   And at a popular camp sight saw some big ol moose.   The closest to us was a massive bull.   At some point we convinced Joe that he should pet the moose.   We truly were thinking he was smarter than that, but some were amid the laughter we saw him heading, very quickly towards the large animal.   The moose jumped straight up in the air and faced Joe.   Joe's face went a lighter white than any Washington state native, and than he ran back to our truck.   More than ready to go back home.   We moved behind the truck, to continue laughing, in case the animal charged.

Sheep are usually safe!

*Above is not a smurf

    I blame movies like Yogi Bear and The Smurfs, that make wildlife seem more appealing.   I don't know who to blame.   I have noticed that my friends --not from the west, have no idea what "basic" common animals are named.   I am going to do a test of sorts on here to prove this, very soon.     I have no real point to all this, just rambling as usual.

    So the rival restaurant across the street from were I work has this clown that comes on Tuesdays and makes balloon animals and mainly traumatizes your kids.   Clowns do not usually bug me, but this guy is like 50 and almost scares me.   I am sure he is  a great person, but as usual our work conversation about him took a negative turn quickly.   And we were soon talking about how oddly enough the only balloon animals he could make the other night were things such as---a snake, worm, eel, inchworm, weenier dog...   AKA all of his animals looked like a penis.  

  Please enjoy this calming photo!     
    I just saw that Kid Rock is going to be playing in Cheyenne this week.   That seems like it would fit right in --at a rodeo!   I went to a concert of his years ago, when the midget was still singing with him.   It was the first mosh pit I have been involved in.   And I won!  --just kidding.   Again no real point to sharing.   And now a list of my favorite posts from the past!   In an effort to get more readers to the posts  and some great feedback.   These are not the ones with the most views, but ones I personally like.    At the bottom of my page, is a list of the posts with the most hits.    Thanks as always to all my readers.  Please give me feedback or maybe list some of your favorites.   This list is in no particular order.   My favorites could change right after posting.

    *My girlfriend has a boyfriend------
    *Hike ranking 101    
    *Mr happy isn't happy----are you?     
    *Baby food and other horrors     
    *Flying high      
    *It's VD not an STD your shopping for
    *Super thoughts OR an un-watched pot of pot may be half-baked
    *Cell phones --great toys or cancer sticks?
    *It's always April Fools day at my house
    *Go the F to sleep!

 
   

You Git What You Git and You Don't Throw A Fit!

                                   **"Awesomely needed rodeo weeksend!**"------
   Much more to come on that ---- I have just been slacking.   It was much needed in both relaxation and bigger tips lately.    Sheridan really knows how to put on a street party.  Which isn't just the nice way to say that we know how to drink here!   I think the only better shin-dig I have seen in all of my travels was in Miles City, MT.  During the wild horse sale.   Although I was reminded that I am in boringsville as I watched nine cops surround a drunkin person Saturday night or early Sunday morning. 

   I had wished for better pictures,  but was across the street, not sure if you are supposed to film cops in action and ready to run myself.  Its' not like they didn't have more than enough officers around for back up.   Plus there is a small chance some of the local officers, saw my past post that wasn't to charming for the local force.   The above pictures only shows to of the cops as they were about to put them in the car.   The rectangular blob is the car.  


                             **"You git what you git and you don't throw a fit!"**-------
    Something some smart kids I know --knew enough to say at dinner time.   What I need to apply to my daily life more often.  

 **"If you are so bored at work--that I'm your #1 priority--you need to step back and look at were your at in life. I know I did after yesterday! **Flashbacks to my daze of working at Wally World--big time!"**

    Another reason rodeo week was so calming.    Without getting into things to much---other people at work started crap---and I finished it.   Now I am still suffering the consequences it seems.   Managers actions may or may not have been very similar to the lazy and un-professional levels I was used to at Wally World.   But the street dance and it's cheap beverages fixed my attitude right up!

**"Some people call it stalking, I call it love!" I really do wish I had a stalker. I would stalk my stalker...."**

     So many gals I have known have talked about stalkers they have had.   And I am sure it is very scary --for them.  But I think having a stalker would be great fun.  Although I hate to say my life is so boring, I might actually feel sorry for my stalker.   I had one of sorts online for awhile.   And it was actually kind of alarming how much someone states away from were I lived could find out about me so quickly.   I enjoy having my daily adventurous and stuff out in the open, but could see how many people would not. 

   **"I thought I was having hot flashes!"**-----Me   after the A/C went out at work during rodeo weekend, and the hot week. 

Our float was Just Better!  What JB actually stands for

   I think the dreams of fixing the air properly in the restaurant are never going to surface.   Luckily I have better dreams than that.   But management brought in floor fans so that we could work in a much kooler environment.   Bringing the level inside to a lower temperature than that outside!   After explaining all of this to a great friend, he said it really sounded like a five star restaurant.   I said, yes---if it is out of 100 stars that ones ranking it!

I will have some posts very soon about all the great fun that is Sheridan Rodeo.   Tonight I post some random thoughts and pictures.  

Ask a stupid question....

 Rodeo is not about booze at all.....

Check out the sign behind these purdy ladies!

Everyone should have a "cox fence"

I understand safety for the kids.  But adults wearin helmets in Wyoming?   Really??

It's 5 o clock somewere

This was at 11:30 after the parade

 

Exploring Wonderful Sheridan, Wyoming ---Downtown

        **"When someone is truly great it inspires others to be great."**---Fortune cookie


    I have posted the following before.  In fact it made it in The Sheridan Press about a year ago.  
But I feel it fits this blog very well.   I can not find the published version--so please excuse the errors.

    I moved back to Sheridan recently not exactly out of want, but needed to come home and re-group and re-start my life in general. I am a Wyoming native, but have to admit, I returned with a negative attitude and a large chip on my shoulder, that is smaller but still present. On my days off work I explored the surrounding area. And than one day, Sheridan’s great down town district.
I am overly impressed with all the improvements and how awesome Main Street and beyond looks! All of the sculptures are great. And it has been a long time since I have seen such a thriving downtown. Every town I have lived in the last thirteen years, and their have been upwards to sixty, had a very depressing shopping district. Most business were closed or on the way out of business. Store fronts had not been painted in years. Signs were falling down. Sidewalks in huge need of repair.




Guess what they sell?


   As far as I could see, every shop on Main Street was up and running. And I stopped at some great coffee joints along my stroll. I also noticed how friendly all the shop keepers were. They were more than fine with me just browsing. And not one shop owner followed me around the store, to make sure I was not a shoplifter. Something I can not even say in most major retail stores.
The sidewalks all looked great, and 90% of the store fronts looked perfect. Sheridan residents, do not lose this gem of a downtown. Tourists to the area, can only support things so much. Support all your down town business as much as you can. I know things are tight, and big box stores have everything cheaper, always but buy locally whenever you have the means. That is what big retail thrives on. And in every town of my past that had tumbleweed floating around, a huge Mart store was in the town. With no other competition, they had amazingly high prices, always!
So, visit that locally owned coffee shop. S bucks will still be around. If nothing else, go into a few shops or window shop. Show some support.

  

  Many of the great statues along the route and just off of Main are amazing.  And all are for sale.  Above is one of my favorites.   I have taught him to sit!  The old lady statue in a yellow dress in front of the drug store, always used to cause me to do a double take.   I often thought it was a lady ready to cross the street.  And often wander how many drivers paused, thinkin the same. 



Was another statue before



Down about the

middle of Main Street.  In front of Big Horn screen printing. 

Ready for rodeo week!

Sheep are safe!

 I do not like many of the new statues as much this summer.  But they were not my pick, and they still look good.   Above is one of the few new statues I really enjoy.   This is right were you turn off Coffeen

Before the bear is Sam's honor.  I believe I was out of Sheridan when he became

SO popular.   The Ritz was a really great place to visit and hang out.  He is now

honored around town. 

  Check out the Mint Bar for a blast from the past.   Main Street also offers many other bars to keep you from getting parched through your walk.   Check out P.O. Flagstaff Cafe for some great coffee and atmospehere.  They also have free wi-fi and some awesome cigars to choose from.  An equally good choice -just down and across the street is Java Moon.   They drip your coffee to order.  And have a great jazz night every Monday.   After you check out the old WYO theater---take the time to visit King Ropes!   The museum and work shop is well worth a visit.   Were you will see everything from a two headed calf to a full sized stuffed giraffe.   While at the Wyo theater  check out the schedule for the trolley.   In case you do not feel like walking back home.   Even if you temporary home is a motel, chances are good the trolley stops close by.   And it is a fun ride. 

  
                             Sanfords always offers a good meal or some brew to restore your energy. 

Just down from the restaurant is the local movie house.   And of course you are greeted by some great shopping on both sides of the street.   A few blocks past here--you run into the middle of the endless construction.

                    As you stroll   count how many fallout shelter signs you spot.  

Sheridan was defiantly prepared at one point in time.   Of course great sights can be found on both sides of Main Street.  Not involving much walking.   So---*to be continued!*

    I am now in a very good mood.   I got my entire rent deposit back, not losing anything.   I was not expecting this at all.   In fact it might well be the first time I have ever gotten a full deposit back, ever.   Whether I deserved it all or not.  The landlord even wanted to hire my cleaner.   Something I thank my mom for, but highly doubt that is in her career plans.  What am I going to do with all of this cash---go to Disney Land!   Wait, that's not it.   At this point I am making plans faster than your average Prune Juice kicks in.   So I will not even attempt to put any of them down on paper for you all to laugh at.  
    I really do have some great blogs in mind to post very soon.  Several from roaming around Sheridan.   And such.   Most of them are even structured and planned out!   I just have  not had the time to share or post them.  
    I noticed after leaving my new bank, that I was wearing a hat from a local rival bank while doing my banking.   When I lived in Oregon it was soon noticed that two major sports teams divided the entire state.  It was great fun to wear the rival teams hats and or gear depending on what town you were in.   In some cases it was also a little dangerous to ones safety.  Mostly in Eugene, because that is were I lived.   The campus was all Duck fans.  And I would wear my Beaver gear through campus and to the local Starbucks.   Were it was almost impossible to actually study, with all the co eds around, also not studying.   Such lame mascots if you ask me.   But no one was asking me.   And everyone was very into there teams. 
    I find it very remarkable that each of my paragraphs so far have started with I.  And also that in my last years brain farts of loaning out my money to the wrong people--freely and with no objections from me whatsoever.   I have become the bad person.  I let the loans slowly turn into gifts it seems, and than when I do mention the money.  I have become a terrible friend.  Someone that they should not talk to anymore.   Is this normal, or is it just fun to shun me?   Because I know some people I would love to loan cash to, if it would shut them up!  This time around I am making it very known that I am beyond broke.  And it is working very well so far.  
    
   

                                          **"Start living or start dying!"**
   
                                   **"Your sweater looks like yarn vomit!"**

               **"Don't get smart with me mister!"      "How would you be able to tell?"**



    I learned long ago, at Wally World--to never ask about things.  Especially if you wanted to do them, your way.   Which in many cases was the best way, just not necessarily the company way.  So, if I decided that my department had to many stuffed squerll lamps/hat racks I would reduce the prices and put them all on an end cap.   Almost anything on an end cap would sell-and fast.  Especially if the junk was at a reduced price.   One of two things would happen.   Well three.   The managers would be happy you sold a ton of the item and than become angered that the end caps were now empty.  Or they would just be mad.  There might not be a clear reason that they were mad, maybe they wanted the stuffed critters for there own houses, or they were just angered that you didn't ask them before lowering prices.   The main moral of all of this, is that if you ask, they have a chance to say no.  Although it usually looks or sounds more like "HELL NO!" They can be anyone from managers to parents.  Girlfriends to pastors.  In one store, I had more computer options than my department manager.  We were the only two people in the furniture area, and I would randomly do just whats described above.   Take a ton of some crummy item, mark it way down in price, and make them fly out the door.    My department manager usually ended up taking the credit.  Because as she told me almost every day, I did not have those options.   I usually stuck around long enough to argue with her.   Reminding her that she did not lower the prices, and we were the only two people that every worked the department.   This was repetitive, but I did get paid by the hour. 
    The only reason I mention this, is I had a similar run in tonight at work.  No, I could not lower the pie food prices, and put them all up on an end cap.  Mmmmmm pie!   But I had a great idea, and did not need to mention it to management.   But when the idea was mentioned, one worker instantly wanted to ask management.   So that they did not get in trouble.   This mostly meant, they wanted to butt kiss and get me in trouble.   In an environment were even the managers are looking for new jobs, in case we close our doors soon, butt kissing really seems like a waste of time.  But maybe that is just me.   In any case, I will go on thinking about pie!

    I just learned that July 12th is the National day of randomness!   And that statement is fact.  Not just me being randomly random again.  See you learn something everyday!   I would have figured the day would be marked on all our calenders as the 24th---simply because that is the day I was born!
    I have really grown to hate my daze off work lately.   I say this after just finishing my "Friday" at work.  Doing nothing on my time off was fun, now maybe just the F-U!  I also would not know what to do with a "normal" work week.   Because it has been a long time.  Although I really do not like weekends off.   Everyone else is off, and they pack to the fun spots.   Anyways, stop thinking about pie, and get back to the topic.   I would like to blame a lot of the boredness on were I live at the  moment and having no vehicle.   But a lot of it is the many friends I have dropped through the years.   Many were by my choice.   They just showed up when they needed from me, and I did not need that.   So that now, the friends that others can actually see, are few.   To many friendships were ruined by whom I chose to hang out with.   Luckily at least one true friend and I patched things up and are once again great friends!   Through these extra hard, and lonely times for myself,  I am extra glad that we talk all the time.  
      So, today I went to church for the first time in a long time.   I have strayed from doing this for way to long.   Work and life in general to easily gets in the way, it seems.   I was very surprised to witness how similar the church that my parents took me to was to the last church my x and I used to visit in Washington state.   Very very similar.   I guess I do think a little bit like my parents -for some reason.   Although I highly doubt they are obsessed with pie, at this moment.   In fact they are probably sleeping.   I will say I actually enjoyed the entire experience today.   And was extra happy to witness no holy water bursting into flames or anything when I entered the building.  
    It was actually really nice to be surrounded by actual good people.   Wyoming has a ton of good hearted souls actually.   I have meet people here in the last few months that are better friends to me than most of the people I have known forever.  And I do believe that the people that have ripped me off since returning home, were not born and raised in this state.   Maybe they just needed money for pie?  
     I say the above as I picture a few incredibly not nice customers.   Two work at Wally World.   And they are always upset, about everything.   One has made a point to complain many times about most of her servers.   The other always "forgets" to tip--always.   I also know that the first is one of the slowest cashiers at the retail store.   Being this disgruntled and angry to others, is very dumb in a small town like this.   They might look up from there cash register and see me trying to purchase a new TV set.   Holding a large jar of pennies.   Somewhere around 90,000 pennies --maybe.   Just ready to dump out on the conveyor belt.   The only thing more entertaining a server can do, is to hand a cashier a huge amount of tip dollar bills.  And than as they are about halfway through counting the money, mention they are all straight out of your work G -string!   "I would clean them before buying things, but fear that's money laundering...."   Of course my day back in church, reminded me to just smile and make the cashier wander what I am up to instead.  
     

Warning? or I Have to Much Free Time?

                      **"‎Just because I don't talk to you doesn't mean I don' miss you."**

                                         **"Ready for the rodeo-Don't you know!?"**


    The big rodeo is coming  up here.   It is THE entertainment for this town each year.   And a great time in many aspects.   I believe I will be working during most of the best parts.   But still should be able to have some great times.  

   So in my continual attempt to confuse everyone from the post man, to myself, today was once again moving day for me.   I do not feel I will stay put long again this time.  But hope that things are much better, and cheaper for me while I am here.     So far so good!   Although I was more than a little put out when all of my belongings were piled by the door, and it was such a small pile.   I have stuff in a lot of locations, but most of my stuff is defiantly not here.  Although it allows for quick moves, it is a little disheartening to be almost 33 years old, and be able to move your possessions in about ten minutes.   Even if you move really s-l-o-w-l-y!  I typed it like that, for those of you that read slowly also.   I have to keep reminding myself that it is all just stuff.   All replaceable and non as important as my memories while collecting all that stuff.   Except for maybe my trunk of collectibles through the years, including my stuffed bear, named Bear.   * My mind wasn't always as active as now!   This also reminds me of high school days.   Not the stuffed bear, but repeatably typing the word "stuff"   My science teacher loved that word.   Everything had stuff in it or was made out of stuff.   Our English teacher, hated the word.  Along with just about everything else.    It was often hard to recall which teacher you were talking too. 
    So in the last few days, the founder of Facebook announced that the sight was going to make a lot of changes in the next few weeks.   He did not announce what any of them would be though.  It does seem that whenever changes occur, most of the sight does not work right.   I really noticed this when the Social Network movie first came out also.  But I am sure that was just a strange coincidence.  Anyways, a friend and I, one that also has to much free time.  Decided while chatting last night, that the ultimate change to the sight will some day lead to.....   All the millions of Facebook users waking up to find there bank accounts empty of all cash.   The web sight will be useless, just housing a continually hoovering figure of the founders head floating in cyberspace with a blue screen behind it.   Laughing.    And the actual founder will be no were to be found ever again.   Now you might be like myself, and only have .17 cents in your bank account.   So, although you can't save a little more and buy that red gumball you always wanted, it's also not a huge loss.   But think if every Facebook user only had a few cents in there accounts.   It still adds up to a huge amount of stolen money!
    Have you ever wandered if you were destined to go through life completely single?   If you are me, you do not need to wander, because it is going to happen.  I will be a full fledged hermit, by about the age of 44.  I thought for a brief amount of time, I had the whole family thing worked out for me.  I kind of worked my way into a family.   And much more quickly, worked my way back out of the family.   Way out, in fact.   I find I do very well with females, until I decide to speak.   And often joke that I practice safe sex, by leaving the lights on!   Today was another proof of the above statement.   Without going into much detail---please don't take notes!   I said completely the wrong things to not one, but two females today.   With one, it could be the last time I see them in quite awhile, like possibly forever.   Lucky as in all other aspects in life, I learn from my mistakes--and rarely do the same mistakes twice.   Unfortunately there are a ton of mistakes to try still.