Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Everyone Poo's Except Me.

    This song really has nothing to do with today's rambling post.  But it is a catchy song for sure.   ;)   Almost makes me want to eat a catfish dinner, almost. 

     **"Do you ever feel bad about not feeling bad about something you should feel bad about?"**

  **"Seeing as you're buying a pregnancy test at the Dollar Store, I think we both know you can't afford a positive."**-----Just once in a commercial --I want to see the gal freak out when the positive sign shows up on her test.   ;)

   **"Can resting your cell phone on your junk, give you cancer down there??"**

                                           **"Coffee helps you poo!"**

  Much of today's post is a continuation of posts in the last week.  At almost a week after my surgery, I am very surprised at how sore and worn out I still am.  I had figured I could do lots of work and blog posting from home, but mostly just seem to want to sleep.  I usually condemn sleep as a waste of time- so this constant wish to just lay down, is new and annoying to me.  I mostly just feel like a huge wuss actually.  Even my regular portions of coffee are not really seeming to help.   I want to up the portions, by just putting a straw in the coffee pot in the morning.  But fear the effects on not leaving any coffee for my beautiful wife to consume in the mornings.   With three kids, we both need the caffeine to even attempt to keep up with them each day.  And now with my wife, taking care of me, she is quickly wearing herself out.      On the coffee note, here is an entire album from MY Facebook page all about coffee love.   There will be more to add --there always is.   Please feel free to use any of these you wish--I probably stole them anyway....       I worked very hard on this album please note.   And it now has 200 pictures.   Some you might have not seen in my blogs!

In  further news---crack makes you stupid!

     This reminds me that you should also check out MY Facebook page-----   full of everything!
And if nothing else a great waste of time for your day.  ;)   Just remember if you do not like MY page----The feeling is probably mutual!     
Exploring with Wyoming Jack/Bobble Head
   Please comment away on this page.   Things make it from my twisted mind to this page before any blog posts.  And although I try to make everything I write very interactive and easy to comment on, I am daily sad by the lack of feedback of any kind.  I find myself expressing stranger things, just to get some kind of comments.

   A few days back I mentioned how very soon the madness of the Holidaze will fully be upon us.   I love most of these days, but it moves by extremely fast.  And once again, we are not even close to prepared for the constant out flow of money that starts in Oct and runs through January it seems.   But we never are prepared for that.  Add to the list, at least in our house hold---Oct 31st is our unofficialy official anniversary of first meeting.  And will mark eight years.   All I can say is "wow what a ride!"  Living once again in Arizona, I greatly welcome the changing of the seasons.   I do not call this the land of the sweating sun for nothing.  And am tired of arguing with myself if I actually want to wake up with glorious coffee, because coffee is hot, and it is 100 outside by 5 AM in Arizona this time of year.   So cooler temperatures is like an early Christmas present to me!  Please note from that--I am easy to shop for. 
    The season I despise the most--will be quick upon us.  And that is the Pumpkin Season!  If you too are surrounded by coffee shops, it is a lot like a dam season.   Pumpkin being added to everything.  Before I rant to much on this--- and fall off of my soap box, something that after my surgery, would cause me great pain, I must say I DO NOT like pumpkin added/flavored anything!   I do not want it in my coffee or in my chap stick.  I do not want it in my car air freshener or in my beer.  I firmly believe that the only things that should taste like pumpkins, that even taste good this way are ----Pumpkins   the seeds can be amazing, and Pumpkin pie.    Just sayin'  sorry to ruin your fifth season. 

    Remotely on topic--I must quickly bring up bugs.   I have often talked about some of the draw backs to living in Arizona.  One of the biggest is that EVERYTHING wants to kill you.  From bugs to all the angry sweating people.   I love how loose the gun laws are here, especially after living in Washington for so long, but on the same note, everyone has a gun.  Being careful what I say and staying out of private property if it looks amazingly fun to Explore can be hard.  Back to the bugs---we have a nice set up on our car port---with a couch and tables and such.  I am typing this very blog from the deck.   But most of the day it is literally covered in mosquitoes.  Hundreds of them.  And the rest of the day it is full of flies and wasp like creatures.   Here even the dam flies want to bite you.  I had one bite me yesterday in fact.   I before knew they were gross, germ ridden insects, but not that they too could bite!  Residents: do the butterfly's bite also??

        As many times is the case---addressing my issues with the family right now in blog form and out loud did no real good.   Although it was a great way to vent.  If nothing else the last week has done two things.   It has turned these hatters more against me---but more unified against me.  And it has also grown my wife and I much closer together.  This is amusing, because the relatives are sure that I am already trying to keep the family away from them.   Not true--if anything I just wish the family would go with there feelings, and stay away from me.   Anyways, whatever the case---how is that for a murdered sentence??   Here is my last post on FB about the mess----I have since turned this and a lot more in my life completely over to God--something I should have done long ago---and have washed  my hands of it all.   Of most of it, the mother in law does still live in our driveway and all......
   **" Surgery hurts but the pain "family" can put on you --lasts much longer. The best part is that the worse back stabbing and name calling is done in front of our kids. Making it seem OK, because people they look up to do it as the norm. I pray for everyone involved hoping that you find someone that thinks you are number one as much as you do. And that you find that someone-on the road, because you are no longer welcome in our lives. No longer welcome, but forgiven!---mind you."**

                                                    More on surgery you say!?

    **"Was feelin' better after surgery. And than I just spent the last 4 hrs calving a mini me! Hardest #2 ever! That is all continue with your lives with that mental image stuck in your head now.  "**

------ Last post I was talking about some of the "joys" of surgery.   I believe I typed all that on my first or 2nd day back home, attempting to recover.  I blame anything offensive on my pain medication--and than smile real big that it offends you.  On that day it gave me great pains that I could not poo.  As the book says, everyone poos!  The next day the continued non bowel movements just hurt.  I have three small incisions around my underwear line, and the extra pushing down, was not what I would call comfortable. 

   To save a little bit to the imagination-- I than spent four hours attempting to leave my mark in the bathroom.  I have never been in that much pain, or have before sweated that much while in a seated position.  Luckily we have a large bathroom, and I could randomly stand up and waddle around the room.  Also luckily we had a few Readers Digests in the room.  The final result could not of weighed more than a small local rat--a rat that also would proably try to bite me.  But felt like I had just birthed a mini me.   I had pain meds in me, and more afterwards, but can not even imagine -or care to imagine how any mother becomes a mother with out pain medication.  I have been tiring amazingly quickly, even still, but this was enough to completely zap the remainder of my energy. 

    But the fun was not over----   I will share this under my thought-line  that everything is amusing and can be a joke.   The next morning I woke up to notice that part of my penis was turning purple.   I made the mistake of alerting my wife.  But all things considered, it was the best way for her to find out such a thing.  After she stopped laughing and taking pictures, she became helpful.  I have often talked about the dangerous of using Web MD.  Mostly that you are soon sure you are going to die within the next 20 minutes.  So we used the equally  evil Google search engine.   I must quickly share here--that in the end, we discovered this was normal after such a surgery, but along the way we found some VERY amusing answers.   Most I do not wish to share because they come from peoples minds, minds that seem very at home in the gutter.   But feel free to look them up yourself, with a search something  like "Y is my penis turning purple?"

     I can save you some time, and say that most of the answers seemed to focus on -stopping playing with ones self.  And the main "amazing revolution" was to be happy it was not turning green!  The best "answer" or at least most amusing was also mean.  But funny.  And was something along the lines of---*your man tits are bigger than most females, confusing your penis and it is on strike, holding it's breath while it decides if you are a male or female.  Thus the turning purple.   In essence you are slowly killing your penis!*   OK this as the other "answers" is much more enjoyable in there own words.   I see you navigating to Google!

   I have been saving up random randomness for awhile now.  Since surgery finding I am ready for bed about an hour after I get up in the morning.  This is my last thought for today, noticing this post is getting a little on the long side.  As always it is my thoughts---but if you agree or greatly do not agree---I would love to hear why!! 
    I have talked before about wild animal attacks.  Here in Arizona, everything attacks, even the dust mites, so the lines are not as clearly defined.  Although I have never actually seen a tiger in the wild, I do know enough that they are not big kitties, and I were to ever come across one --I would not rush right up to pet it or to feed it tiger snacks.  Many people it seems, do not think that way.   There are reports all the time of deadly animal attacks in Yellowstone Park--and more times than not, the animal is not really to blame.  You can now almost not spot a bear in the park, because each time a human runs  up to a bear, calling it Yogi, the human comes back be called "Stubby" and the bear is relocated or killed.  I have no solution for this, I do know that growing up in Wyoming, I have huge respect for a large number of wild animals.   I also can identify most of them, something most of my non resident friends can not.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.   Although- I wish to do a test of sorts, to see which animals y'all can identify by picture.   My brother could identify them all by there poo and or foot prints by the way.   I think he could also identify them all by taste too!
    But rejoice!   Not everyone is so scatterbrained.  I just read a report from the great state of Alaska--were men are  bad asses and woman are whatever is tougher than a bad ass!  Even betterer this article was written like this kind of thing happens every day up North, probably because it does.  In the article a bad ass couple were staying in a tent --his wife or girlfriend or both was sleeping in the tent.   And the male bad ass saw a grizzly bear entering the tent.   He promptly ran between his woman and the bear--and punched the grizzly bear.   Knocking out the alleged attacker!  Even being from Wyoming--I would not do something so bad ass.   wow!


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