Friday, December 6, 2013

I Was Funny, Once.

                      **"I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else!"**

                                       **"A husband and wife are cooing over their new born baby.
                                           "Look at the size of his penis," says the man. "It's massive!"
                                              "Yes dear," says the woman. "But at least he's got your ears."**

                   **"Got my wife some lovely perfume for Xmas, its called sample.. Hope she likes it."**

                  **"The Kama Sutra has announced a new sex position called The Delivery Guy:
You stay in all day but nobody comes..."**

**"Life is like a box full of crazy!"**
       If you are one of the few that read these blog pages you know that I really like coffee.   ;)   You might also know something about all the "fun" we have been having with the in laws and such.   Although the bad --makes for the best blog posts--they are not all bad  for sure!   I want to assure you of two things here.  First-I revel a ton about all of our family crap, but it is by no means all of it.   And B--I never make any of this stuff up.  I have a great imagination, but even I could not think up most of this, it might take someone Devil like, to come up with much of the evil planning and such.   I smile to myself here, because I affectionately call my mother in law The Devil and she is who this story spawns from.   I never use her real name is these posts, because she knows what her name is.  And eventually I hear how much my thoughts bug her.   My thoughts on this---stop doing things like this, and you will stop reading about them.    I am married and also grown up enough to realize I have to eat my words at least three times a week.   I do not hear about my mistakes in blogs, they get filled away in my wife's brain  and brought up constantly.   So in the same way, I will never live them down.   One of the good relatives is staying with us at the moment, and he brought to our attention that the mother in law said, I was staying with my wife, for her money.    So this was the post I decided to put on Facebook.   After we all stopped laughing at the acquisition of course.  
 People that know us at all will love this: As most of you know my wife April Adams has an illness that will slowly and painfully take her life. We fell in love way before she got diagnosed blah blah blah...sappy stuff. Anyways my great mother in law -who's thoughts get deeper and deeper is telling everyone I am waiting for April to die---for her money. First off--she married me for my huge... Wally World checks! 2nd--I have incredible patience because we have been together for 8 years now.... Cliff notes: Much of this side of the family is beyond crazy---and if, God forbid, April goes before the kids are all 18-----the kids and I are going to disappear! Poof! Were none of the crazy will ever find us. Working on our wills this week.
My page probably can not help you either---but I would like to say I try.
In fact I put helping people on my resume. 
                                                                                  Mmmm    cookies!

                         We have much less snow in the desert so we have to celebrate differently

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