Thursday, December 19, 2013

Mc Funny

               I start today's rambling with a joke because I can ;)


'Hello, Is this the Police Station?'
'Yes. What can I do for you?'
'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbour Jack Murphy...He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there..'
Thank you very much for the call, sir.'
The next day, twelve police officers descend on Jack's house.
They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They sneer at Jack and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Jack's house.
'Hey, Jack! This here's Floyd....Did the Police come?'
'Did they chop your firewood?'
'Happy Birthday, buddy!'

           I have been earning this badge a lot in the last few daze. Just my way of getting in the Christmas spirit.  I have been having a terrible time getting into the Christmas spirit at all this year.  Looking back, this only usually happens for me on the years when I am away from my great family.  Something about watching the kids enjoy -and seeing the whole holiday through there eyes makes it magical again.  I do not know if it is because my wife is very sick at the moment, that the kiddos have been acting up-and probably won't get a visit from Santa, the super warm temperatures of living in the desert--it was nearly 80 just a few days back here.  The fun in-laws starting more crap--which I will briefly describe below, or a mutant mixture of it all-- but I have a big Bah Humbug attitude this year.  Our gifts going out are going to be late for sure, we don't even have all of the shopping done.  And we still have not got the outside decorations up.  I just would rather sit and enjoy coffee. 

This is me before I put on my makeup
Wait!  before I put on my take on the day face!

    Again I try to keep these stories as brief as posialbe but they have been becoming so ridiculous that not sharing them   may very well be a crime.  In the Christmas spirit I was also ready to forgive and forget and not actually file for a restraining order against my mother-in-law  although our family greatly needs one.  The key word in the above sentence is "was!"   People think I am joking when I call her The Devil---but if I put all of the stories through the years --just her acting out against me, not to mention how she treats her real family and grand kids, it would be a large book--and you would fully understand the new name for her.   We have had some other run ins with family and friends in the last week also.  And with the fatigue, work, and the fact that her eyes have finally been opened to such people--my wife is finally letting me tell them were to stick it, and agreeing fully with my responses to them all.   Two such people---I had been waiting for months to do just that!   Two new examples of when even clouds would stop and say "WTF" from The Devil & other relatives, come from my Facebook page: 

                                                                   Earlier in the week
First: I do not understand why single people keep asking a family of five for cash. But it is beyond annoying.

And B: I am not a person for threats *I make love not war!* But if my mother-n-law calls me the N word one more time-the results are not going to be Purdy. I don't understand how "No contact" could be put any more basic-but it obviously needs to be explained daily.

                                                                           And just a few daze ago
   Seriously how does one get away from the crazy relatives once you are happily married? Beyond all the sh*t and harassment, and threats, and requests for it to just stop so we can live our lives---today while April was at the DR we learned that my mother -n law told him that I beat my wife. Get a life people--so you can stay out of ours.
      So on Monday my wife had a doctor appointment and at one point the doctor asked me to leave the room.  The Devil has the same doctor and had told him, among other crap, that I regularly beat the crap out of my wife.   He thought she might not be able to truthfully answer his questions with me in the room.   I am well aware that The Devil can not keep her mouth shut--but most of the talk goes to other full on drunks, and I really do not care what they think.   The above has the potential of going seriously bad and is beyond crazy.   This is way to small of a town for this kind of "funny" stress builders.   Besides I am well aware that my wife could seriously kick my butt at any given time, and do not try and start anything, that she would finish.   Thus why I am now back on the track of filling an restraining order for her this holiday season.  And more reasons I might not be so jolly.   Maybe we just need to move to Canada   I am pretty sure that much of the crazy in the family can not get past the boarder checks, Aye!  ;)

 Sounds fair enough to me. 

            Mc workers across the states have been trying to get $15 an hour to do there Mc job.  If it ever passes this would throw pricing and jobs so out of whack that the only way to be able to afford buying any of there Mc burgers would be to become a very fast Mc runner, and get 100% off of everything!  Above is what is a way more possible "solution" from the Mc managers.  AND it might even get our orders right.  

                                                                I believe that is Al Gore pulling the sled.
                                                     In case you missed the news--it has been snowing in Egypt this winter!
                                                                        First time in over 100 years!!

I believe this came directly out of the HR handbook at the very place you work. 

  A local couple makes these amazing tiles and we just purchased this one.  Our family is slowly merging from three different last names all into the Adams family.   Please keep the finger snapping to a minimum.   It is a long process  partly because it is not cheap to change last names.  And partly because I want all of the kiddos to want my last name, not be forced into it.   I believe our youngest main motivation to switch to Adams is that he would be at the front of all of the lines at school.  


Butch asks
 "Were are you Exploring today???"

                      My next Exploring blog takes us back to last weeksend and the local light parade.   If I consume much more coffee the blog post might happen this afternoon.   

Explore with me.
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Exploring with Wyoming Jack/Bobble Head
   Lastly for today ---  My picture of the day.   I have been straying from this -with less Exploring and with the grand assumption that all of my pictures are great and worthy of the honor.   But as you may well know, assuming something makes an a@@ out of you and me!   Today's picture I did not technically take--- BUT I took a picture of the picture--so there you go.  

    He is telling me how much coal I am receiving this year!    Years ago while still working at Wally World  I jumped on Santa's lap- without asking   complete with a Hawaiian shirt on and my blue workers vest.   Santa was overly surprised, and not nearly as happy as this one in the shot for sure.   But it made for a great Christmas card that year!

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