Tuesday, November 24, 2015


              With my class this evening I really should be catching up on studying --but beyond not really wanting to --I can not seem to access the college page at the moment.  Tonight I have class and than work till at least midnight.  Not a very good method to wake up from the class.  The instructor keeps it as interesting as possible, but it is a three hour class and all.  Work on Tuesday is not usually a very good wake up either-because it is sooooo slow.  Than at 9 AM I scheduled to return to work.  Great for getting more tips and because I am off work early tomorrow, bad for getting any sleep in between.  Luckily sleep is over rated, and I really just survive on coffee and coffee related assosireis.  And than it is Turkey day!   I again will be at work most of the day--but mainly chose to be.  Tips can be amazing on holidaze, if one goes with the pity me -serving technique.  Plus food will be waiting for me  whenever I get off of work.  I hope everyone has an amazing Thanksgiving---filled with family and things to be thankful for.  I also hope you get  rested up enough to go out that night and battle the hoards of holiday shoppers well into Black & blue Friday!  If that is the kind of thing you are into.  I happen to have the day off work, but not to sure on funding and such for doing any real shopping. 

             I am thank full for a lot of things this year.  Although it has been a really crappy year.  Mostly thankful that I make tips on these holidaze.  And do not work in retail.   I worked eight Black Fridays while working at Wally World--and each was beyond crazy  but not in a good way.  Each required a ton of coffee and each screaming customer that could not find the blenders that were advertised on sale took away another portion of my fake smile and my soul.  Actually after the first year working there I do not think I had any self worth left--you could say anything about me--and I would agree with the horrible words, kind of like now in my "relationship."  I also did not have a soul left--- I believe I sold it the 2nd year--on Rollback.  I am also very thankful I am not a turkey right now--although my mother in law likes to call me one.   I call her The Devil though-so I guess we are even?  I am some what thankful that I will be moving soon into my own place.  No more floating and motel buying and such.  This place is very reasonable especially for the move in.  I say somewhat  because this is so far from what I really want to do.  And I fear singing the contract will seem overly final in it all and put me in a deep funk again.   After all these years, to be living in a little box again  by myself is the last thing I pictured.  The last thing I wanted.  And as I sit here in a similarly sized box of a motel room ---by myself I am starting to panic myself.   And the depression is already starting to wash over me.  If I did not enjoy my job so much, have my work related classes, and love my family so Dam much---enough that even through it all lately--I know we can be a we again----I would move far away from the desert for sure.    As I am typing all this  I really can not believe that this is once again my topic----especially this close to the holidays.   Anyways, on to other thoughts and topics. 

The police never think it's as funny as you do.
Speaking of police----to soon?
I found an early entry from my journal.
       To all my friends & family that do not live in the South, and might be freezing there butts off----As I was sitting, stopped on I-10 in construction I had to turn the A/C on to kool off.----I was talking to my buddy who now lives in Bozeman MT of all places the other day and he said it was a crisp 8 degrees outside.  This prompted me to tell him the above and than post it online.

   I finally had a chance to watch the entire Avatar movie a few nights back.   I really enjoyed it.  Although I was not aware it was so long--and would have started watching much earlier in the night if I had known.  It is hard for me to sit still for any movie--I find myself soon roaming the house looking for things to do within viewing distance, that gets me off my butt.   But this movie managed to hold my attention for sure. 

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