Thursday, September 29, 2011

                                                How to tell if your neighbor hates you??

              **" Somebody just called me childish, I almost choked on my Lego."**

                    **"I'm not your daddy IM Your grandpa!"**---Geico commercial----That is one of my favorite Geico commercials for some reason.  Possibly because the dancing is so crummy, like mine.  Or because I  call someone at work Gramps.   My all time favorite is still the ad were the mom is driving the lil pig home in her mini-van, and he is yelling "weeeeeee!'    But as we have proved many times before, I am easily amused.   One has to wander if every ones car insurance would not be way cheaper, if there wasn't soooo many insurance commercials?  Personally mine, could not be cheaper---I have not had a drivers licence for years, so do not need car insurance.  I greatly miss having a vehicle, and will have one again very soon.  But I do not miss paying for gas, repairs, and or insurance.

 **" It's great fun to go to Octoberfest and ask drunk German lookin people why the fest is in September!"**

                An old painting I found of myself, while roaming around downtown.

   **"Those New Zeland guys can't go to sleep counting sheep, because it turns them on to much!"**----Tosh.O----I talk a lot about sheep and they being safe!   Maybe to much, since people keep sending me random pictures of sheep and such.   I even have a whole collection of stuffed sheep as an inside joke.   I attempted to explain all this in a past blog.  But think I made things more pervy sounding for myself, if anything.   O well!   I was in the big city of Billings for a few days.  I will talk more about that trip in another blog.   But while in a "adult book store"   I put this in quotes, because I saw no books.  Except maybe the one the cashier was reading.  Anyways, they were selling a "love ewe"   blow up inflatable--I guess thats one and the same, sheep.  Complete with boobies!   I do not have a picture, beyond the one on my cell phone, because I was not brave enough to pull my cell phone, or anything else out of my pockets while in the store.   Sorry for you all.   I did send pictures of the box--to many of my friends through the cell phone.   My ex, replied with, "You bought it right?"   To which I instantly replied "Who says I do not already own one?"   Sadly I proably would have added it to my sheep collection, as the star focal point, but it was $22 bucks!  Even for the west, this was just a lil wrong---and baaaad!  
     Not that these type of stores are ever nice, not that I have seen many of them.  But this particular store was extra "seedy."   It was kind of like walking into someone's house.   The products were on shelves made out of plywood.   And near the viewing room was a sign---again sorry I have no pictures----  pleading for people not to pee or cum on the floors, while viewing any videos.  And talking about the a recent STD outbreak in Billings, with a place with cheap testing.   Neither I was before aware was a problem in Billings. 

                                             Wyoming Valentines Day Post Card???


   **"If most accidents happen in or near your home. Aren't people with RV's doubly screwed?"**

                                **"My new pick up line..... Blink if you want me!"**

                     **"Your moms so fat on Halloween she yells trick or meatloaf!"**

              **"He either has a light bulb in his rectum or his ass has an brilliant idea!"**----Scrubs

                           **"I wish my money would have sex in my wallet, and multiply!"**

I have talked about this subject in several blogs.  So will not touch on it again.  But thought this was overly ammusing.  

Friday, September 23, 2011

**"I think I need happy pills the drunk is wearing off!"**

  So--we have this gal name Echo at work. She says something---and I yell what? Than she repeats it again. And I yell --"Wow theres a freakin Echo in here!!!!"-----So it is defiantly not all fun and games at work, like maybe when I worked at Wally World, but when it is slow, we really earn our $2.25 an hour as servers!   I have some more posts about Wally World coming very soon.  And believe that I could write a book about how to slack in each and every department, yet still look busy.   Adding in different fun things I have tried during my 8 year "career" with the huge box store.  I figure it could be win-win.   I could market it towards the hundreds of new workers the company gets each year.   And if that was not a big enough cash flow---work on negative publicity and try to get Wally World to pay me to never actually release the book.
   The newest entertainment for me at work, is to hold peoples food way up high, when  I deliver it to there table.  And than if they look like a fun bunch, call out food items completely different what they ordered!   Maybe even items we do not even sell at this restaurant.  And watch there reactions.   More posts on this, once I see if the above is read by anyone that will get me in trouble at work!   I have already learned the hard way that way more people read this blog than I had before thought.  And have issued a few apology posts.

   Above is my favorite name badge ever.   It hangs on my fridge.   Now the stores tend to lock up the materials to make name badges.   I defiantly earned this badge in many ways!   But lately I have learned that I really have no usable job traits or skills.  I have eight years in retail.  Whatever that does for me.   Beyond a great dis-like for retail.   And I have worked in restaurants for years.   Neither seems like a real career.  Beyond that, being a prick is fun, but does not really pay to well.   Unless I finally live my dream and become a stand up comedian some day. 

         **" Havn't had enough coffee--to re-learn Facebook! Off to work."**---- So I woke up way to early the other day before work just wanting to check my messages before going to work.  And everything on Facebook had changed!   I have seen a lot of complaints about the sights changes, but really don't mind any of them that much now.  That morning, I was not to impressed though.   I can say that the Cat in the Hat poem about FB's changes is well written and cute, but does not work.   It discusses the hate of the new changes.  But in the Green Eggs and Ham book, after trying the eggs, he decides they are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

    **"Sometimes you gotta stop worrying about were your going, and just enjoy were your at."**----Scrubs

                                     **Ok, who's guilty here?
A wife wakes up from a dream yelling ........"hurry my husband's home".....
...the husband wakes up and jumps out the window....

        **"The postal service is about to be returned to sender."** ---The Colbert Report

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Last Thursday Night Festival In Sheridan

**"Sometimes you gotta stop worrying about were your going, and just enjoy were your at."**----Scrubs

      Few of my friends that are not from here seem to realize how small this town really is.  The population totals 17,000 ish.   But the town is very stretched out.  It even has three exists off the highway.  To see everyone you know, one just has to visit the Wally World super center.  There are more cows in the surrounding than people, by far.   Although we support three Mcdonalds, there is only one Starbucks.  Something that did not used to be in town, and I am very grateful it is.  Being one of the few good coffee joints in town.  In fact I am there now, enjoying a brew and writing all this rambling. 

    This town comes alive in the summer.   No matter how short it may be.   Prime example seems to be this year.   Were we got tons of rain, and than a month of hot weather, and now it is trying to skip right into winter.   Every third Thursday they have a street festival.   I am usually working during this fun.  Were we stay very slow, because most of the town is at the festivals.   I have written about going before.    Please check out my post-----

                             3rd Thursdays--Main Street-Sheridan

  Last Thursday's was different because I had the night off work.  And because it was the last one of the summer.  A very depressing thought for me in several ways.  I am still not sure how it is already this close to October.   Although I do really enjoy a good October fest celebration!  The most fun, beyond the drinking of course, is to ask random drunk German looking people, why October fest is not in October.   You get many varied answers.  Non I can report about now, because I was also enjoying a brew or seven.  More deppressingex's unofficial anniversary.   We are not sure what the actual date is.   And although we never married, and seem to be doing much better off far apart, I believe the month might not be a good one for me mentally.

   Back to the fair---man your mind wanders!   This one was very busy.   I saw many good friends.  And a few people, I could deal with not seeing again.  Enjoyed some good food, an expensive cup of bubbly water, heard some great music, and got to feel even older.  When the Sheridan cheer team came out.   I went to Big Horn, and we never had cheerleaders at all.  To small of a school.   I even got "suckered" into buying raffle tickets for Holly Name  by a very aggressive and persuasive 7 year old.  

  At some point I saw a few co-workers of mine, and we roamed the streets for awhile.  Ending up in front of the mechanical bull.   Named Felix or Flipper, or some lame F name.   Defiantly not a respectable name for any kind of bull.

  One of my friends had never ridden one before---and we tried, not very well, for quite awhile to get her on it.  An older man passing by, even got involved, offering the full ride fee, if she would take an 8 second ride.   Even though it isn't often an old man hands randomly hands anyone money, she never rode Fred.   And eventually the other friend jumped on the bull.   I have not got permission to post any of the pictures on here---so below is a picture of me riding one in Seattle, WA.     Were I learned that drinking more does not let you be a better rider.   My first clue should have been when I tried to mount the bull, and about flew off the opposite side.   Long story short---I got launched half way across the bar, and the padding even hurt a lot on the way down.   As in other adventurous in my life---the part were I was in mid air, was very kool!  

    I used to have this picture on my Facebook page---but had to live with my brother saying I could not brag until I rode a real bull.  Which was something he could easily arrange.   I found it easiest to take the picture down.  

  The rest of the night was spent with good friends.  Listening to great music, as the sun slowly turned fully into dark. 

                               Today's Blog picture is from Main Street in Sheridan, Wyoming.

   One of my favorite statues downtown.   Except maybe the newish one, of the sheep!  This was takin' right after I came back to Sheridan the first time last winter.   And he continues to be one of my best buddies in town.   Right after coffee!    I even taught him how to sit!

Wha!!? More Rambling

                                                     Call if your not interested!!

    I have been greatly slacking in posts.   And actually hope to make two today.  I have some great ideas and posts in the works.   And in hopes that putting some of the ideas in writing will help motivate me------   I will soon write about  the last Sheridan Thursday night street festival
Friends   Relationships    The top worse rentals I ever lived in      Jogging again      Top ten hike tour blogs I have posted so far.   Best and worse places and or business in Sheridan  Travel blogs outside of boring Sheridan, Feature guest blog writters  etc etc etc
As always if you have any thoughts or suggestions, please share!

    **"Ever had a cross eyed girl friend and than dumped her because she was seeing someone else?"**

                        **"If you don’t have anything nice to say—Come sit by me!"**

       **"One cannot fully understand something—Until you can explain it to your grandmother."**

            **"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but many people abuse the privilege!"**

  **"Free coffee at McF*cks all week. Anyone want to go? Ill buy!"**---Me-----Mcdonalds once again had there free coffee week.  And I did not make it once.   Getting to work at 7 many days, having coffee at home was defiantly the quickest answer.   They do not have the best coffee around by far, but it is OK, and was free.   Starbucks very randomly gives free coffee  and if you live in a bigger city, you can be very happy on caffeine after visiting about the 8th coffee shop!

  I did not take the above picture.  But have to say that it turns into my morning routine many a day.  OK almost every day.  I have been trying to cut way back on Facebook use, not on coffee use by any means.  But fear that I might need an intervention from FB.    I am constantly surprised how so many people read allllll of the drivel I post daily.   I try to keep it amusing most of the time, but any time it is hateful or I post bad news, I get lots of replies.   I have a rare day off work today, and although I did finely make a blog post!  I have found myself online way to long once again.  It would not bug me as much, but it is actually nice outside this morning, and  I fear that nice days are on there way out for the year.

     **"I'M NOT A WITCH, I'M YOUR WIFE!"**---The Princess Bride----- One of my favorite movies of all time!   Would have to say Office Space is right up there in my  top ten. 

    **"So i make it to the top of the great mtn. And the all knowing Guru tells me "to get a haircut and a real job!"**----Me----Tell me something I didn't know!   I will get a haircut and return to my van down by the river to think things out.  

               **"Mornings would be great if they came much later in the day!!"**---Me-----I have been working many early mornings lately.  And although I am very grateful that this saves me from working with the always interesting and entertaining night crew, well, it's early.   Luckily we sell coffee at work.  

               **"Can restin your cell phone on your "junk" give you cancer down there??"**---Me----After I finish cooking this baked potato on my cell phone, I will let y'all know.

  **"Why is it that when a woman gets pregnant all female friends rub the belly and say "Congratulations!",but none of them rub the guy's cock and say" Well done?"**

**"A Blond and a Brunette were hanging off a cliff and a boy comes along a has to pick which one to save he picks the Blond so she claps :)"**

                                                             Watch that first step!
                                    Anyone in Sheridan know were this was takin'?

                                            And now it's time for today's picture.  Wahoo!

    This was shot in Story, Wyoming last winter.   And is quite easily the largest icecycle I have ever seen, by far!   It has been chilly enough to dig out my hoodie in the last few nights.  I never had to wear more than a hoodie while living in the Great North West.  The other day they were talking about snow above 2000 feet.   And I feel it is way to early for this "fun."  I have lived in warmer climates for to long, I fear, and even choked on a snow flake last winter.  I fear that after about a month of summer, we will all be shoveling ten feet of global warming very soon!  
      I will have more chilling pictures up soon.   To get everyone here ready for whats just around the corner.  
                                                           **Happy Trails**

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


    After another weeksend spent almost living at work, and waking up still very much not awake sometime still in the morning on Monday.  I think I need to ask my friend how she constantly has so much energy.   She basically has two full time jobs, and from the early hour she wakes up, till bed time, is in constant motion.   I have had two jobs before, and found I had a ton of cash, but had no free time at all to do anything even close to kool.  Lately I do not have energy at all, and one job is plenty to wear me out.   I realize she eats very healthy every day, so much so, I sneak snack foods into the house when visiting.  But have to wander what else keeps her going.  Do they make healthy crack?  And do people share this?
    So I am sitting here downing all essential coffee, and watching the localish newscasters drone on about if they pronounce it "soda" or "pop" when ordering  a carbonated beverage.   I believe my I can actually feel my IQ lowering while watching this.  And I may not have that many  points to loose.   Can one's IQ actually hit negative numbers, maybe from drinking to much soda pop.   I say localish news providers, because living in BFE Wyoming, the closest news comes from 200 miles away.  This particular broadcast comes from Denver, another state away. 
    Last week Vancover Island experienced an earthquake.  A small one, but another place recently that has not really experienced this.   Some of my friends in Washington felt the after effects.   Others were at work, and knew nothing about it.   Which I found a little odd, since I live states away in the middle of no were, and heard about it.   The raise in disasters lately, makes me almost like living in Wyoming.   Nothing really happens here at all.   Although Yellowstone is supposed to erupt in a fiery vengeance very soon!   I have wrote about all this before, in past blogs.  But maybe there is something to the end of the world coming very soon.   I doubt we are lucky enough for it to be this year.   There are so many different huge disasters that could happen.   My buddy believes that when we hit a certain number of gay folks, the world will kind of hit self distruct.   It is to early in the morning to go into this much deeper, check out my past blogs for more "insight" and to argue with me. 
    Today's picture is in Sheridan, Wyoming.  Takin' from Sugarland Ridge-it has two of my favorite things in it.  I have a ton of pictures of both clouds and the sugar factory stack.  Both make for great pictures.  

   December marks a year of this blog.  And I would like to thank all two of my readers!   I want to make a lot of changes in the next few months.   And hope that the changes and moves in my life, make for a more interesting read each day.  I will be bringing back my Friday "mini rants."  And adding some kool new ideas.   And will also be trying out some advertising in future blog entries. 
               As always ---please comment ----good or bad, each thought helps me improve.

                                                                        **Happy Trails!**

Saturday, September 10, 2011

9/10/2011 Remberance--- Gloom & Doom Free

    **"College Professor stood on his chair & said, "If GOD really exists, knock me off this chair" Nothing happened & the class was quiet. He said, "See! now I'll give it a few more minutes". A Military Vet stood up, punched him in the face, knocking him out, then sat back down. As the Professor came to, he looked at his student & asked, "Why did you do that?" Veteran answered, "GOD was busy protecting my buddies fighting for your right to say & do stupid stuff, so HE SENT ME!"**

                **"Safety first. Just kidding, coffee first. Safety's like third or fourth."**-----
   We used to get steak bbq'd for us at Wally World after so many days of no worker accidents.  Unfortunately workers got hurt about every other day, so we did not hit this landmark much.

   **"If we put pictures of lost kids on beer cans instead of milk cartons, we'd find them in about 15 minutes!"**----In some states they are now putting pictures of dead beat fathers on pizza boxes, in hopes some college kid or hungry stonier will call them in.  Both are a good idea in my book.  

                          **"Tonight at work is going to be great fun! Minus the fun!"**

 I so do not understand this state.  While in Washington I had to beg for "low end" jobs, and places I did not really even want to work.   One interview for a part time dish washing job, put me in a room with 40 hopefuls.   The restaurant had about 10 customers at the time of the interviews.  I could not find anything steady.  And picked sticks in the middle of no were all day for $10.00 bucks an hour after answering a Criegs List add.   The only plus was that no one wanted to lose there jobs.  So you could dine at the crummiest of restaurants, and get four star service!   Here-no one actually makes it to there jobs.   We have at least one call in or just no show every day.  And about two people a week just stop coming to work.   This allows me a lot of work time, living so close to work.  But boggles my mind at the same time.   In fact the whole state is short of good workers.   You can kind of chose your job, if you can pass a drug test. 

  So I am sitting here watching Fox cartons and they are Mutton busting.   I have learned that few people outside of Wyoming seem to know what that is.   Maybe a good thing.   But maybe infuses to every generation here how safe sheep really are?   Just sayin'

    **"Me? Behave? Seriously... As a child I saw Tarzan strolling naked. Cinderella arrived home after midnight. Pinocchio told lies. Aladdin was a thief. Batman drove over 200 miles an hour. Snow White lived in a house with 7 men. Popeye smoked a pipe and had many tattoos, and in later years, PAC-Man ran with digital music eating pills that enhanced his performance. The fault is not mine!"**

                           **"Kids who hunt, fish, and hike don't deal and steal."**

    **"I told my family that I would never want to depend on machines and fluids to keep me that's when they took away my computer and coffee maker!"**

So over my days off, yes I actually got two off in a row.  Something about clocking out of an 11 hour shift with 39 hours, keeps the managers from calling you in!  I "busted" my first pool of the summer.   Were you use a pool that is usually guarded, and never yours.  When it is really hot, the local Holiday Inn leaves the electronically locked doors open to keep the windows from steaming up.  Vegas has some great pools to bust, but they are increasingly harder to break into.  
  I also believe I found some of those candy cigarettes.  I have not seen those for years!   I did not go in the candy shop, because I did not have any money on me that day.   My buddy  says he has not seen those for 25 years.   Although he is also the same person that told me I should try actually lighting up a few to see what happens. 

                **"I like kittens they aren't stupid ye,t like full grown cats."**--Me

    **"I wonder if I could save more than 15% on my car insurance if Geico wasn't paying for so many flippin' commercials?"**---I do get a giggle out of some of there commercials though.  Especially the one were the lil pig is getting the ride home--and yelled "weeeeeeee" randomly through my work place for many a week.  I have saved a ton of money on car insurance, simply by having no car.  But that is also a pain in the butt, and my walking feet.

  **"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars and I think to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?! "**

        **"My girlfriend is a porn star. She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out!"**

                           And now today's long awaited Daily Blog Post picture!

  OK the name needs some work, defiantly.   But every blog I am going to post a picture of my own and tell a little about the picture.   Starting with old pictures of mine.  And than moving on to a brand new picture each time.  This is picture number 2.

   This is yet another picture from Bellingham, Washington.  Between Whatcom Falls, and Whatcom Lake.   Remains of the old rail road can be found all through town.  And I have seen pictures of the tracks going across Lake Whatcom years ago.   Right through the middle, which seems like a ton more work than going around the lake.   Anyways, I feel at this point that my life is on these tracks and about to fly or take off in great ways.  Or crash and burn in the water below.   Whatever way it will be a hell of a ride, and I like this picture!



Tuesday, September 6, 2011

9/6/2011 Post #169

   Today's post is all posts I have had up on Facebook in the last few weeks.   I try to keep them funny and entertaining.  And hope they bring a smile to your face.   I return tomorrow  with a real post. 

 **"Last night --the ambulance came and took me away. Simply because I attempted to dance, and several people feared I was having a seizure!**"---- I have touched on this before, but my dancing skillz are pretty much non existent!   My ex saw me dance, do what I called dancing, twice  and that was more than enough for me.  White men can't jump or dance....

 **"WALTER: The Olsen Twins are in Honduras giving shoes to children in need & the children are giving them their food thinking they're starving."**---Jeff Dunham-----I had a chance to see him live in Vegas, and am very sad that it never happened.   But for now, we have the DVDs to watch.   If you have not watched him, rent a video.   Peanut is still my favorite character so far.   Jeff--fa fa fa    does whole stand up routines with his many ventriloquist puppets, and manages to deliver mostly clean family comedy.  

  **"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."** - Jack Handey

   **"I don't understand why everyone hates on Lady Gaga. I mean, he seems to be a really nice guy..."**

**"Your relationship status ruined my real life relationship status with my wife. Just might be the title of my first book."**---Me----- It is amazing on Facebook how even a long term committed relationship can go bad for a week, if one partner changes there relationship status online.  Even as a joke.   Or someone reads the wrong thing on another person's, usually of the opposite sex.  

 **"Instead of "lol" I put "lsimhbiwfefmtalol" Laughing silently in my head because it wasn't funny enough for me to actually laugh out loud."**

                  ‎**"I don't need to take a test to tell you I do drugs!"**----Out Cold

                 **"It takes honey to catch flys but you gotta be extra fly to catch more honey's."**
                           **"The phones makin' funny noises again!"**--CoCo Rock star

    **"I told my family that I would never want to depend on machines and fluids to keep me that's when they took away my computer and coffee maker! WTH?"**

**"Drinking Non-Alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin, it may taste the same but you know it is wrong."**----I used to bar hop with a friend that would wait till I had a few drinks, and than offer to buy me a beer.   It was always an non-alcoholic beer.  And they always tasted nasty.  Kind of like warm cat  pee!   Another five drinks or so later, he would offer to buy me a drink again, and I would fall for it once again.    In Oregon, I also had a buddy that was out on his boat drinking Non-Alcholic cat urine.   He got pulled over, on the lake, and blew over the legal limit.   This means two things, even non-alcholic brews have a small percentage of alchol in them--look it up.  And B, that he drank a ton of the icky brews!   I think the whole concept is lost on me, kind of like drinking decaf coffee.

**"Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."**

**"Dear God one month does not equal summer. Even in WYoming terms! And i fear us shoveling ten feet of global warming before Oct."**

  **"The fact that there is even such a thing as ugly hookers tells you pretty much all you need to know about men."**

   Today I am also starting a new feature to each blog.   With a great picture and a short description and or thoughts on the picture.   For now I will be going through my files and using old pictures.  Later on I will be adding new pictures each time.   Each are a picture I took.  

   I came across this one late afternoon while roaming along the bay in Bellingham, Washington.   It is hard to see in the picture, but a rock "maze."   Big enough that one could walk through it.   This took some time because all of these rocks started down by the beach.  Just to the right was the bay.   Making this mini hike even more enjoyable.