Mmmmm Coffee!

             Hello everyone.   And by everyone---I mean the one lonely/lost Internet surfer that just happened across my page this fine day!  If you can imagine it is full on sunny outside today for day number 215 in a row---welcome to the desert!  I am sitting here sweating this fine morning, but drinking coffee--watching a family move into the apartment across the way.  Mostly glad that it is not me moving, or helping them move.  I have a ton of moves under my belt---and it seems that for the most part we have moving down to an art.  Any type of move.  It also seems that my family and I are constantly moving, in a pattern just away from each other.  So what am I going to write about today?   No I am asking y'all----because some days I have an actual topic for these posts.   Most daze though --even I am surprised what gets discussed.  I have brought up before how I would love to own a coffee house---but fear I would drink away most of my own profits.  Maybe open a topless coffee shop and call it Perkies?  Just don't ask for fresh milk for your coffee!----Maybe that should be the slogan.   Just down the street I would open a liquor store ---- to cover both bases of the drinking day.   I wish to call this booze provider The 13th Step!  In coming up with all of this, I must say I have to much free time for sure.  ;)

    Work is always majorly busy--- the publicity people for the casino I work at are amazing at keeping people wanting to come through the doors.  But of course some days are much crazier than others.   And some are just plain heck with a capital ECK!  A few nights back the power went out in our whole area.  When this used to happen when I worked at Wally World---we had to attempt to get all of the customers out of the store---telling them it was for there safety, but mainly to keep them from stealing multiple crapily assembled items.  I say attempt, because the customers did not wish to leave---and because most of the workers were actually busy finding places to hide in the dark so they could jump out on co workers when the lights soon came back on.  This casino has multiple generators and you usually can not really even tell the lights went out.  But this was a big outage.  In fact the whole place went black for about five minutes.  Most power was quickly restored---but on this night ALL of the other food outlets had to close there doors for about three hours.  We some how were the only outlet mostly open --and it was beyond busy.   In fact it was an hour wait for a table during this whole time.  It was beyond crazy---and since we mostly had full power--we would have been more than glad to share our power with the other restaurants.  One saving grace---with the other joints closed, many of the workers had nothing to do---instead of being sent home, they came to our restaurant and helped bail us out.  I believe at one point we had 12 cooks behind the line --multiple table bussers-etc.  Yes it was great tip money once again that night, but the jury is still out if it was worth it.  

True story--except I use a coffee can.

         Once again I am going to promote my newest Exploring blog page.  Please check it out!!  And share the link when you enjoy what you see.  I know I keep promising this---but MANY new pictures and updates are in the works.   http://exarizonagobensonbobcats.blogspot.com/

But I like to color!

Earliest picture of me I could find.  

Now that's funny right there--

I don't care who you are. 

2/26/2016

             Hello this early a** morning to all y'all!!   I hate to proclaim that I am in a very bad spot in many ways right now.  A spot that I fear no amount of adult beverages could get me out of.  A spot that after all of these years, I should not be in.  This time I can not/will not let her win  will not let the booze take priority   I can not let her get the best of me this time around.  Although I might very well soon have to vacate Arizona to escape the memory's.  I am only in this God awful---home of the Devil, because of her and the kiddos.  I can not go any further in this right now---but I can say I am beyond sad and heart broke and beyond angry this time around.  I have lost everything that is me, lost a lot of years, lost myself fully, lost my chain of thought, my drive, a few good friends, lost my balls, Although they are in a jar over her fire place, and in the full divorce I should get one ball back----half of everything .....    I can't loose anything anymore.  Although the trail to my happiness now appears to be highly grown over.  I have put myself last for so long for no real reason, that I am no longer really sure what I really even enjoy.  No wonder I am suddenly single, I am such a push over I could even push myself over I fear.  A shell of a man for sure---one must love them self fully before they can love anything else, and I don't.   I don't like anything about what I have become.  A very hard fact as I find myself living in a studio apartment.  I was so worried about us  that I didn't see the big a** cliff in the distant horizon.  A cliff I am now dangling onto ---praying for my life with all of my might.  To an amazing God, I have also put not in the back seat   but in the back seat of a limo sized bus.  And surprise !   This cliff I am hanging off of with buzzards circling me in the air and lions circling below, angry lions, is a huge cliff.   A cliff that would make any over look into the grand canyon seem like a baby canyon.  Where am I going with all of this???   You don't know either??  Only time, a lot of booze, and gaining at least one of my balls back will tell for sure were all of this rambling and my life will go from here.   But rest assured this blog page will reveal what I learn along the way.  Maybe I will find my true love actually loves me back.  maybe I will feast on the circling lions.  Maybe I will  find and release a huge trouser snake.  maybe just maybe I will love life again. Maybe I will find a way to finish this very long paragraph.    But at the moment I must say I am very angry, lonely, confused, and or lost.  And that is a very dangerous combo.   Here is to making right choices and living life again!   This very page has seen me through a lot, although I try to keep away from the highly negatives.   

      Speaking of the good----a few nights ago in my class at work we ventured to the world class steak house and spent two of the classes three hours learning all about wine!   I have to say it was an amazing class!  At the start we had to sign an agreement, that we indeed work for the casino, and would not indulge to much  and would present ourselves as workers.  Maybe because we were tasting 20 some different wines on that night.  Pared up with some amazing food from the steak house.  Along with some great knowledge on the wines and wine in general.  I have to say that I do not really enjoy wine   but have a better appreciation of wine now, and DID enjoy that night.  ;)

     I do not officially have Internet at home again----so posting on any page is a challenge many daze.  I also do not currently have reliable transportation once again---BUT that said, I am hoping to post a ton on this very page AND on my local Exploring page.  I have lots of pictures and Exploring to talk about on my newest page------and I hope you enjoy everything each page has to offer.    http://exarizonagobensonbobcats.blogspot.com/   When you check it out, and enjoy what you see   PLEASE share the link!!
      

2-23-2016

                 **"My resume is really just a list of sh*t I hope to never have to do again."**---
                   And mine is a long long list.   

                              **"Shut up and let me practice my people skills."**

     **"Did you know?    Coffee spelled backward spells  "while you were reading this, I took your coffee!"**

    This page is a page for sure----and like most of my pages, I have found if you do not like the page, the feeling is most defiantly mutual!   As I sit here and sip more coffee I realize how much I have already not accomplished this week.  Yesterday was supposed to be all about catching up on things ---and than work called me in.  I was happy for the distraction from life in general, mostly because I can mostly shut off my brain while at work, and come home with a few bucks in my pocket.    Not as much so as when I worked at Wally World of course.   There I found I was ready to clock in just after I blocked my mind out almost completely.  Just before the stage were your mind is so blank that when asked a question, you just stare and drool all over---I am sure YOU know that stage well---than I was ready to clock into work at Wally 
World.  

But this kept me from studying--yes I have yet another class today  so that I can get even further behind.  And I did not get to post any in my Exploring blog page last night. I have much Exploring and pictures to share on this new-ish page.  Please check out the old posts, while I slack in updating.   http://exarizonagobensonbobcats.blogspot.com/

          While at work I also learned that I won the stupid sales contest we are having last week.  Our burger of the month--is a great burger--but a Dam hard sell.   Anyways, during week one I sold the crap out of it--and one first place in sales, by a long run.  Than was a little more than surprised after selling almost $400 worth of burgers ---that my prize was a single bottle of wine, left over from Valentines Day.  The prize actually went to my beautiful wife, because I do not really enjoy wine, and because she offered me a better incentive.  Either way, I did not really sell the next week at work---and ranked 4th at the end of the week.  Last week I realized that no one was really attempting to sell the burger, and pushed my sales again---winning top sales once again.  The big question now is who will have the top sales for the whole month---the real contest---and what kind of a prize the managers feel is worthy of this. 

*Like!

**The cops never find it as funny as you do**

                                                             I believe Saint Paddy's day is just around the corner...

Lack Of Sleep Causes A Lack Of Sleep

                 **"I hate it when I don't forward a chain letter --and I die the next day!"**

                            Good afternoon all!----I have another very late start on the day--because I am quickly going into another funk and find I can not sleep at night.  Long story short, my wife and I are fighting again, nothing new really -but this is a big one.  And I again found that instead of settling anything at all she just stops correspondence altogether.  I have also again found that she makes all of the rules all of the time, because we are very into an equal relationship and all.  I have been helping and fighting for things so much---that my classes and other areas are greatly struggling  mostly that I now do not have reliable transportation once again.  I thought I had help in all these areas, but nope----as I lay awake tonight---hoping that she comes by my house for a visit tomorrow ---I am going to use all this new found free time to my advantage and alternate between posting on my blog pages and studying.  I believe I would have already dropped my management training classes--I am so far behind right now, if I did not know that I have to pay for the class if I flunk out or drop it.  And the payment per week--is about the same amount as my paycheck.  I believe this is now my sole motivator to stay in the class.   This blog page alone has nearly 42,000 views now!   So a huge than you to you all!!   As a side thank you ---I really do attempt to keep my lack of a love life woes out of this page.   

     My main focus tonight will be my classes, but I also want to post away on my Exploring page.   I have lots of new pictures and local Exploring to ramble on about.   Please check out my old posts and share the link with everyone you know.  http://exarizonagobensonbobcats.blogspot.com/

      Among trying to catch up on a lot of things--in class --at home and beyond, I have been reading and enjoying many of my blog posts on this very page from the past.  This page has been going strong for about five years now, and although a lot of it expresses pain and negativity---I believe much more of it show cases joy and happiness.  I hope this is true for everyone that stumbles across the page and reads some of the random rambling.  I even manage to slip up and get deep about topics every once in awhile.  And in show casing my pictures, I can re see where I have been and watch our kiddos grow up as I maybe grow up a little bit in my writing, thoughts, rambling, and relationships.   Notice the key word here is maybe.  I have been told multiple times that all of this is a huge waste of time, but writing makes me happy---and Exploring and picture taking makes me even more happy.   So writing it all down is a huge stress reliever for me at any time.   Not to say my stress is near gone, at any rate right now.  I would need a Costco box of enemas for myself and a huge amount of flowers to be stress free at this point.   I have not been on a good  hike or picture taking adventure for to long---living in a small as* apartment is also getting to me.  I don't sit well normally, but lately that seems to be all I do.  I just don't have the desire or motivation to Explore --and that is hard on my soul.   Every time I start to believe that this very page really is a huge waste of time----I start reading the old posts and I soon get lost in the words and quickly find I have a huge smile on my face.  My other deciding factor on how worthy this page is-----all of y'alls views!   Again thank you.  

      I recently learned that I have a lot of paid time off built up at work----and with our tax refund coming soon---am going to start using much of it.  As a server -paid time off is kind of a joke, because I still make $5.20 an hour----my main cash is defiantly in tips each work day.  But this allows me to not be at work, but keep my paychecks the same low amount.  Of course some of this time off is to be spent with my loved ones.  If they start talking to me again.  Much of it will be spent Exploring.  And the pictures will make it on my pages soon after for sure.    Speaking of work--after last week I am beyond lucky to still have a job even.  More so because through all of this pain and crap---most of it self inflicted-work seems to be the only thing keeping me going each day.  When I am stuck up here-away from my family on my daze off work like today---I just want to sleep the day away.  Luckily my apartment complex is beyond loud and this is usually not an option.   Today I do not choose to go into the work ordeal.   Here are some funnies instead.....

      On a high note----My long time Exploring buddy is moving closer to Arizona next month.  I was going to fly up to his old home in Montana and help him move this way----to see him and get in a good road trip---but I am not sure time allows for this fun.  Either rate he will soon be a hop skip and a jump away from here----Bad pictures and or injuries will result from this.

Mmmmm coffee another great love of mine.   

My constant dream   when I do manage to sleep at all.  

Forever and a day

True story. 

Although I am neither of the above at the moment.

    Have a great coffee filled day   Y'all!!