Thursday, March 19, 2015

The Devil Speaks About Arizona

             Hello and salutations and such to everyone!!  Thank you as always for being a faithful reader of this sight.  I have often rambled about the constant heat in Arizona.  Yes I did choose to live here, but I do not have to like the heat.  I lovingly call this the land of the sweating sun.  This makes me chuckle every time I say it--and I am still waiting for a call back from the tourism board about adding it to all of the visitation flyers.  I have before talked about all of this, and my hate for the locals favorite word "dry."  As in it is a dry heat.  In short---once it hits a certain temperature--it doesn't matter what kind of heat it is, it is just freaking hot outside!  At any rate I have never shared the following poem about it all before.  Mostly because I did not have this poem before.  I want to greatly emphasise that I did not write any of the following---or even have the rights to put it in print here.  I also do not know the brilliant person that wrote this.  But in my full agreement of the entire poem I feel I can publish it here if I make it fully clear that I wrote NONE of this. 
     I share for several reasons.  First I am in a love/hate relationship with living in the land of the sweating sun.  See the Arizona description is catching on already!  Second I know The Devil first hand.   I know everyone hates there inlaws--but my mother in law really is The Devil.  In fact several people will tell you that she looks just like the main character in the movie Hell Boy.  These same people will probably also tell you how much I look like a Jackalope.  If you have never driven through the state of Wyoming---you might not understand this reference.  In fact my best buddy wants to wrestle The Devil.  He is also the one that came up with her nickname.  Although I seem to take the abuse for coming up with it, and the credit.  He knows he will lose if he ever gets this wrestling match--but he still really wants to try.  I believe fighting a live bear would be safer--but what do I know?  Reading back through these last two paragraphs--jury says, I know very little.  Lastly spring is just around the corner.  And with that the warm temperatures of the desert start to crank it up to extra warm.  Causing most of the traveling snow birds to return to there home states.   And now the much awaited poem that I have been talking about all this time, but I DID NOT write:


      The devil wanted a place on Earth,
       Sort of a summer home;
A place to spend his vacation
Whenever he wanted to roam.
So he picked out Arizona,
A place both wretched and rough,
Where the climate was to his liking
And the cowboys hardened and tough.
He dried up the lakes in the valleys,
Then burned and scorched it all.
He dried up the streams in the canyons
And ordered no rain to fall.
Then over this barren desert,
He transplanted shrubs from Hell;
The cactus, thistle and prickly pear,
The climate suited them well.
Now the home was much to his liking,
But animal life he had none;
So he created crawling creatures
That all mankind would shun.
First he made the Rattlesnake
With its forked, poisonous tongue;
Taught it to strike and rattle
And how to swallow its young.
Then he made scorpions and lizards,
And the ugly old horned toad.
He placed spiders of every description
Under the rocks by the side of the road.
The he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
Hotter and hotter still,
Until even the cactus wilted,
And the horned toad looked ill.
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
As any creator would.
He chuckled a little up his sleeve
And admitted it was good.
Twas summer now, and Satan
Lay by a prickly pear to rest.
The sweat rolled of his swarthy brow,
So he took off his coat and vest.
"By golly," he finally panted.
"I did my job too well.
I'm going back where I came from,
Arizona is hotter than Hell."
Next action void post will be once again full of my random rambling, attempts at jokes,
and lots of coffee love!

For more pictures of amazing Arizona and gripes about the heat   Please check out my newest Exploring blog series at
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Next post for this page is the picture filled part two from our family adventures
in LEGOLAND California. 

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