Sunday, August 28, 2016

8/28/2016 Still Heartbroke

            I am sitting here attempting to watch the Simpson's.     At the moment I am to cheap to pay for cable and am using an old school attenee.  It is usually more than enough to get about 20 channels--although several of these are all in Spanish.  Tonight it is not working at all and I am typing this as I watch the sun go down -a better show at the moment.  Drinking coffee attempting to wake up and to shut off my brain.   To many questions and such roam around in my head right now.  They mainly stay buried during the day, because I am at work or running errands- but I don't have work today and they are again taking over.  This -joy is usually saved for bed time, when my mind fully wakes up and sleep becomes a distant memory just like my happiness.  At the moment I am pondering how to ask if someone is cheating --without really asking.  Not being even close to 100% sure-  and mainly relying on the little true information I have, and a lot of probably untrue information my brain has come up with, I am in now way prepared to ask this question in any way.  Although I already seem to be deep in the dog house.   Last night I was a dip---and returned to work at midnight, because they only had one server on the floor   on a Saturday night.  Yes--I have no life right now!  Because I did go into work---against every one's thoughts on my Facebook post about it.   Wooo!   It actually saved me cash  because I was getting ready to sneak to the other casino for an hour or six.  It did not save me tummy though, because since I was around food, and helping--I convinced the boss I needed free food, at three in the AM.  At any rate I basically have not heard anything from my beautiful wife in about four weeks, and I do believe my heartbreak is slowly turing into constant heartburn from stress.   Through it all I hope she is/becomes happy.
    Is it sad that I top our food sales by a lot each month even over the full time workers? Here's the best part. I don't ever actually work at high sales. Just think if I was motivated.... :) I know your reading this, boss---I was bugging the bosses about this all day at work the other day and this was my final jab online, because our main boss is a friend on my Facebook page.  Although I believe she is smart enough, like most of you, not to read this page.  Almost every month  my food sales are the highest, even over the actual full time workers.  I feel there is no real motivation from management to increase or push sales, so never actually try to have high sales---it just happens.  They know I can sell the crap out of any item I or they choose though.   And this maddens them.  Good times.                                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                      My local Exploring page is ever getting fuller and waiting for your views!   Please check it out.  ...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        
                                                                                           **"I would like to apologize to anyone I have NOT offended.  Please be patient.  I will get to you shortly."**

      I think that I am thinking way to much about not thinking about it all. My minds about to explode. And sleep is just a memory like us happy. I love you to Dam much and we have to much history for it to be so difficult. Call me b*tch----In my defence --our song used to be 50 Cents-  B*tch git in my car.  
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  **"Be careful who you push away, some of us don't come back."**
                                                                                                                                                                      **"I learn from mistakes others make while following my advice."**---
        Two notes on this real quick.  Or not if you are a slow reader.    I tend to make mistakes a lot, but seldom the same one twice.  But Dam there sure are a lot of mistakes out there to do.  And people seem to come to me a lot for advice--I listen -kinda and than tell them what I really think---almost never what they want to hear.  They get mad and a few weeks later come to me with a new issue.  Interesting. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Here's your sign!?                    

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