Monday, August 22, 2016

8/22/2016 Still Heartbroke

                                                                   Happy Monday-- Y'all!

                     Hello this afternoon!  I apologize again for the absence of posting, but at this moment I really could spend all day in bed and not feel bad about it.  And I usually get by on a VERY short amount of sleep---why do you think I talk about glorious coffee SO much?  Again I will keep from telling to much---hell I don't even really know the story, but I have no clue where my 11 year relationship is at--This all came out of the blue, heck silly me thought we were getting much betterer.  And with basically zero contact---I have no closure  or basis to know if I need closure.  Or a real determination if I could even handle the closure at this time.  This very page started when I was suddenly single years ago---and has saw me through and out of the same relationship several times.  I never dreamed it would see me out of it once again.  Through it all this very page has worked as a journal for me---and although it helps some to write about all this --I hope I don't ever get to deep or sappy on this page.  This page, her past blog page---when I was still in a good light, in her eyes--maybe  just maybe I still am--I really have no idea, and social media make all this even harder.  Because of course the posts are in a good light.  And there are so many of them!   Even going through my pictures, for jokes and such to post here, I find myself pausing at pictures of us.   In any light, I have recalled over the last few daze that her and I--the kids and I--have had a ton of firsts in the past.   Most of them truly amazing.  Many of them probably ended up in a  blog or three.  Now in an effort to enjoy me, myself, and I--a person I really don't want to be trapped alone with at the moment---I am trying to drag myself out and do as many firsts as I can.  Hopefully this will soon lead to more interesting blog posts in all of my pages.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     **"Water makes me wet!"**                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Yesterdays first for me was a simple one, but a great experience at the same time.  I simply swam in the local pool   in the rain.    Heck you are getting wet anyways -right!?  I lived in Oregon and Washington for years, and have done a lot of things in the rain, but have never swam in it.  I must say it felt great on all of my senses--even as dumb as it already seems-the next day.  I have swam in several areas in the winter, and jumping in the water --fully took my breath away, but yesterdays swim was more enjoyable.   Hopefully my next first will be more interesting and vow for more than one paragraph.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           **"If I didn't post it on Facebook   Did it really happen?"**                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       **"I am currently under construction, thank you for your patience."**                                                                                                                                                                                                                             **"Coffee made me do it!"**                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Trying to park by the IRS building or my life right now in one picture?                                                                                                                                                                                                                            
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Anyone else miss the Taz on Saturday morning cartoons?  Apparently the Loony Toons were to violent   but almost all new cartoons stink.  I do feel like the Taz when I try to make my morning coffee   when not even close to awake yet  though- especially if I have to open any packages.                                                                                                                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It has been hot here!

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