Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Old Fisherman Never Die (They Just Smell Like It)

    I have been thinking about fishing a lot lately.   My parents and I fished all the time in the mountains.  And I have not been for over ten years now, some how.    Although the huge salmon runs of the north west were a big draw.  Some of those fish could probably pull me in the water.   I worked for awhile in a cannery in Washington state.  And although the money was great, not much else about the work was.  By the end of the day you were covered in fish guts, and I would have to take 2 showers to be allowed in the house.    This all in mind here's some thoughts:

    Fishing is quality entertainment, if your a fish.  But how many sports can you sit around all day, drink, and than lie about what got away while taking the family out to eat *since you actually caught nothing, without shooting anyone?   One often wonders how things are determined.   Like milk comes from a cow, or that a fish will go after a dangling worm.   What were these people doing to the poor cows and or worms?   Is a dangling worm common in the fishes environment?  Why do the fish decide the worms look edible?   How did catch and release come about?  Is this really fishing, or recycling.  And do you really need a license to recycle?   See fishing gives you time to think!   Did catch and release fishing come about because someone actually caught a fish, ate it, and decided this tastes awful, and fishy!   We should throw them all back?  
    At least if you have a boat theirs constant fun.   From losing the oars to having extra beverage storage.  Usually known as fish coolers, but who needs those?  The only fish you'll see are in the freezer section of your local supermarket on the way home.  The larger a fish the more exciting your day is to an extent.  If your catch of the day could double as The Man and The Sea 2, but you started fishing in a mountain pond.  Besides selling the movie rights to me, things are looking bleak for you.  
    With many years of fishing under my fly, I can't say I do not enjoy the sport, as I am sure many a house wife, does also.  I have even tried fly fishing.  Which usually goes something like 1 o clock, 9 o clock, 2 o clock, tree!  I have never actually caught anything with fins while fly fishing.  And my technique looked nothing like those guys in A River Runs Through It.
    The best fishing holes tend to be controlled ponds and fish hatcheries.  Were the fish are all one size, larger than the medium fish sticks.   Which makes me pause and note, that for all you city folk, fish sticks do not come pre-breaded.  And in the above cases the fish are waiting for you to catch them.  I know a few fish hatchery workers that would frown on fishing there, so good night vision and running shoes is advised.  Because getting caught is a costly experience I am sure.  *I've heard stories.  What do they book you with, misdemeanor of a trout--fish napping?  Which brings us back to which supermarket fish to pick.  Cause chances are that's all your getting for dinner.  Plus most supermarkets have more beverages.  Someone drank all of yours on the boat.  Choosing fish without heads are the most believably caught while you were fishing choice.  Better yet is to just take your family to the local Mc D's because cows don't smell like fish. 
   So, you have decided to on a fish hunt?  Leave your explosives at home, or sell them to me.  Taking two rods is important.  Before you run off looking for two men named Rod or Rodney, I am talking about fishing poles o bright one.  You always need a stand by for the first pole getting stuck in a tree.  How do you know if that line tug is a fish?   The quickest way is to stick your head under the boat and take a look.  Or, you can reel the line in for several minutes.  Whatever method floats your boat.  Remember to add the newest stick to your pile of things caught.  Do I need a fishing net or no?  Sometimes simply beating the fish with a beer bottle is as effective.   Do I need to worry about "worm hands" when eating?  Do the fish?  Besides who's eating, you don't get feed until the fish are fried, mister.  That's of course assuming you catch any.  
    Also always remember to have fishing line strong enough to pull in a shark.  Even while in a little nearby stream.  One never knows when the industrial strength line will help you cross to the other side of the creek.  Tarzan style because that's were the best fishing holes are.  Or will hold you or your boat from going over a waterfall.  
    This brings us to shooting fish.  Unless they are in a barrel, due to depth perception your going to miss the fish.  But it is still hours of fun to try.  Also getting a bow and tying an arrow to it, with a large amount of rope is fun too.   If you actually harpoon a fish, you can just pull it onto the land.  Always recall to aim well away from your boat.  Fish scanners are also great because the digital fish on the screen are often actual size.  In conclusion, yes Finlay  do I recommend going fishing?   Yes, but the sport is not for the extreme sportest.  Although tackling fish might lead to NBC's must see TV next season. 

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